Sonia said something which got me thinking.
Why do I cuss so much in my posts? Then the other day I got this comment when I wrote this post.
I think you should learn to use other wods instead of fuck.Its not right hearing a mother of four using such foul language.
Then I read Kiran’s post. Instead of taking up her comment space, I decided to blog about it. Firstly I would never do what that lady did to Kiran. I never could use swear words in front of
- Someone I just met.
- Someone clearly not comfortable with the words
- My kids
- General junta
My sisters and I all use fucker, bastard, ka ni na,bitch VERY freely when we together. We have used it in front of my mom and dad. Especially cursing certain people who ALL FOUR OF US HATE. My dad doesn’t blink an eye most of the time. My mum will say something like,”You all are girls, speak like one” and leave it at that. My dad doesn’t speak Hindi so he doesn’t use the typical Hindi ma-bahen ki gaalis. My mom ,at the worst when she is pissed, will use kuti. So we grew up with Hokkien swear words. We were told never to use them until we were adults ourselves and that’s that! I don’t think anyone broke that rule. My parents didn’t hit me because I called someone. I don’t recall my sisters using swear words until I was married.
Now that commenter above, said I shouldn’t swear because I have FOUR kids. What? I don’t let my kids read my blog. My eldest child knows I write one, knows that I write about her(she told me once, are you going to blog about this) but she doesn’t read it. I told her its my personal diary sort of and its not for her. Maybe when she is older, I will let her read it(i think?) So why cant I curse? I don’t it in every post I write. I know I used it excessively when writing that particular post BUT that’s an exception. That was a very emotional and tiring day for me. I dealt with Samar’s blood work stuff and my back pain MRI report all by myself. So I guess I am allowed to write however many cuss words.If you dont like it, either dont come back to read me
Today while chatting with my dad, he also said why you use the F word so many times? My answer, aiyah dad!
After composing this, I started a chat with all my sisters and showed them this yet unpublished post. My youngest sister’s comments are below:
Edited to add: I always heard my dada using “sasur ke nati”(father-in-law’s grandchild) I didnt know what it meant until a few months back. I told NK and he explained, it means I screwed your mom. I thought that was really funny! Also my fav bhua curses but uses bc mc and bkd after which will switch to Hokkien words.Very funny to hear her swear when she is trying to switch lanes and the guy is not letting her.
Sonia wants me add that she doesnt swear. Whatevah!!
While I don’t really appreciate anyone telling me what I ought to say or do as a ‘mother’, there are certain things that I could NEVER do, even if I try hard. One of them is using cuss words. But then it is something which I don’t like doing. An all in all personal area.. And I would never dictate these terms on the one talking to me. But yes, I would expect the person to be a little polite in the first conversation that we might be having, and be able to sense the discomfort that I might be feeling.
And hey, I do like your blog a lot, and would express my appreciation by giving you this award:
http://pujathakur.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/look-momma-you-are-not-the-only-one/
Me:Hey Puja. I have now come to realise most Indian women dont swear. The other day in the park, I said “Sale maachar kate rahe hai” and the women were shocked. LOL Thanks for the award.
Ahh people distribute unsolicited and patronizing advice as if they were getting paid for it. Dont mind it. Its ur blog after all.
Me:She came back to lecture me on my duty as a mom. Sigh
I counted 9 fucks in the post you linked. The query for fuck in your search bar revealed many,many posts with that word in it. Its your duty to cultivate good culture in your children. I pity them for having a mother who cannot vent her frustration using appropriate language.
From what Isha wrote, I guess you and your sisters are all alike.
Me:Whatever lah. I dont really care. I dont know why you have so much time to count the fucks. Frankly, you pissed off my youngest sis. She answered everything. Now onwards, I am going to delete any of your comments
Well, I went through the blanket-strap thing with T1 and know EXACTLY what you went through – and what you’re going to go through for at least another year…T1 was SO traumatized by the wrapping up at around 15 months (to drain fluid from her ears – she had to be still), that it took her another year or more to start trusting docs again… And that was a time we visited docs left, right, and center!
She’d scream and wail her heart out everytime we stepped into a doc’s office. And for good reason. Until we saw this wonderful, wonderful, friendly nurse who made it her forget why she was there, while cleverly checking her ears out.
It’s nowhere close to being fun! Cussing, to me is just like a lot of other habits/traits people have. I seldom do it, but I won’t tell others what to do. Passing a judgement or telling someone what to do (unless this person is a close friend/relative) is equally a bad trait imho…
Me:Ohh I got back the results. He is still allergic to everything. Sigh.
http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/how-dare-i-wear-this-goddamn-shirt/
You need this T-shirt.
And my goodness, you have trolls. I’m so impressed. I don’t even get trolls that often.
Me:LOL Angie. I have the same one who is counting the no of fucks I write
Actually I dun get the person above whu calls him or herself Annon.
Sraikh, are u pointing a gun to his/her head to read your blog?
So why this person here?Obviously, he/she doesnt like reading it.
Sraikh’s kids are very lucky to have a mother like her.
Most mums are so busy being cultured that they dun even have time to spend wif their kids.And what happens?
Doesnt mean she cuss means she does it front of her kids?
I have not heard it front of the kids ever.
I think her kids are more cultured and well behaved then any other kids i know.
Morever, I dun see any Scientific Bias that when a mum cuss she doesnt instill good cultured in their kids.Is there?
And frankly I pity your mother for having a daughter who is hiding behin the name Annon.
Me:This is my youngest sis people. The one who just graduated and is doing high funda work in the world of disc drives. The one people wrote off because she didnt clear some stupid exams back when we were younger. And look at her now.*wipes tears emotionally* Big hug sister! Muaahs. And that stupid commenter doesnt even know how to spell anon..Its one N!!
Wish I had sisters to back me up like yours do
Way to go, Isha!!
I don’t curse. But frankly, I don’t see why anyone should have a problem with the language you use on your blog. They are free to move on. Yes, I might get uncomfortable if we were having a conversation in person but then I believe you would be sensitive to that. You have mentioned that in the post. I CAN tolerate cuss words in a conversation, as long as they are not directed towards me and mine
Me:CK,You know I have 3 younger sisters right! We might be oceans apartl but when someone else is attacking one of us, watch out people. Things start flying and people start crying. And I never use cuss words, never in front of my kids. (Okay sometimes I use saale. Picked that up from NK) Other than that, I have never dropped shit,fuck, damm in front of them
Hey there, I dont mind the swearing. I only mind the swearing in front of me, because I generally have a clean mouth. Thats it.
At the end of the day, Id prefer you to be a good human being with a potty mouth than a silvery tongue angel waiting to backstab me.
But yes, I know you’d draw the line in front of the children. Call me old fashioned. But….
Me:You’re not old fashioned. Not with the leopard print shoes and the bling bling bags.
It’s your blog and your place to vent when you have a bad day. What’s the big deal?
Me: God knows whats up her ass
Yeah I know you have three sisters. I do read your blog, even if not every day
It must feel good to be so close to your sisters. I hope my daughters develop such a bond.
Me:I’m sure they will be close. My girls fight alot but they love each other too
That sucks!! Have started the BIOset treatment for T1. Will prolly blog about the results in a couple of months…(hopefully in a happy note)!!
Me:Will wait for your post. I might do the BIOSET. Have been researching it.
Oh fuck. i did not receive the memo that said that that i must morph the second i got up from the OT and was handed my bundle of joy.
you said that to the mosquito? good for you girl!
i finally did that post btw, was a bit caught up till today.
Me: Yup, I have been using saale way too much. Saale machar, saale puri nahi phoolti(puffy)
Lady, I don’t think I swear alot and especially not in front of my kids. I usually prefer to insult and voodoo-curse (even their father and mother) and always in full sentences.
Having said that, I know most of my swear words especially in Hokkien. One must always be armed and ready. And I certainly agree that when you’re mad and no other words can describe how you feel, there’s no better tension relief than a good fuck (both orally and physically).
And especially in your own blog. We all say what we fucking want in our own blog as long as we do not slander, encourage child pornography or encourage anarchy.
But true true, there are sensitive souls out there. You should put up a disclaimer, “This is NOT a curse-free blog”.
Me: ROFL. You are right about releasing tension. whether physically or orally . I am going to put that disclaimer up soon. Hey do you swear in Malay? My sisters and I were talking about this and we almost never use Malay swear words. I remember in primary school, we used to call each other babi(pigs)
So, we are all supposed to become paragons of virtue the day we pop out our kid/s? What utter nonsense. The things people will make a big deal about, I tell ya
i dont get it. so because we’ve had kids we’re supposed to behave like pieces of wood? who made the rules up? someone send me a copy of the ‘Mommy rules’ book because i missed the regulation that said i shouldnt swear.
there are many ways to raise children and i think the most important one according to me is to have happy, healthy, well adjusted kids. swearing is so trivial that it surprises me when people come up with it at alll…..
you go girl. your blog. your mouth. your kids. its better than being an anonymous coward – if i were that person i’d wonder what it teaches my children if i dont have the courage to stand by what i believe.