My 3rd child is 10 months old and I am wondering how you manage to bring all of them out by yourself. Getting in and out of the car has become a pain. I have been actually staying at home to avoid going out. Can you give me some tips?
I received another email. On a completely different topic. (You guys like how I flick posts topics from other bloggers and/or tags and/or emails.) Coming back to the email.I never stay home with the kids. Only when we are sick do we stay home. I find that if we are out doing something, even if its something as simple as going to the local park, everyone stays sane. There is less fighting, the kids get tired, Mummy’s happy.
It has become so much easier now that the girls are bigger and Samar is walking. But during the long darks days of having 3 under the ages of 5, I remember asking for tips, watching what other people do and also trusting myself that I could do it. My mom left after 6 weeks. In fact, right on the day of my 6 week pp appt. I had to start doing preschool drop off and pick up. I recall being in my last month of pregnancy and having fears of losing a kid while shopping. Or being homebound until the baby turned 5. But the thing is, I survived.It took a while and then we all settled into a routine.Some of the things that worried me are listed below.
Unloading the kids from the van.When Samar was less than 6 months old, I used a sling for short trips(pharmacy,post office). I park the van, take him out, put him in sling, take Neil out and Avasha is out by herself. I have a huge phobia of parking lot. I saw some article abt the children being crushed because the driver couldnt see them while backing out. So I have to hold onto to everyone. I have Samar in the sling, am holding Neil’s hand and Avasha holds to my shirt/pants. Then we start walking. If I am using the stroller, then the boys are strapped in, and the girls are holding each side of the stroller.The stroller, take and unfold the stroller first, place diaper bag in basket and then get kids out. It sounds like a no brainer but sometimes one forgets the simple stuff.
After Samar turned one, I unstrapped Neil first(his seat is on the drivers side), close that side on van door, bring him to the pavement, ask him to hold onto the van AND NOT TO MOVE FROM THAT SPOT, take Samar out, and then we start walking. I dont remember where I learnt of this placing one hand on the van door or wall till we are ready to move. But its a brilliant idea. Simple and effective. I always use it and Neil never moves until I am ready.
Planning Simple Things: We always do simple things, like going to the zoo. And if at the zoo, the kids want to sit and collect leaves and rocks, we let them. I dont move anyone until everyone is ready. Likewise at the beach, if they are happy up away from the water,digging into the sand, I let them. I dont say things, lets go to the water or lets go to the tide pools. I dont care what they do as long as it is safe. This is why we seldom go to places like Six flags and such. It requires way too much organizing. We can do that when Samar turns 5.
All I can say is that it will get easier. As the kids get older, it will be that much easier to get in and out of the house. I hope this helps you S.
Great post, but I’d also love to know how you do public bathrooms with 3 or more kids, particularly when the handicapped one is occupied and someone has to go really badly! (Can you tell I’ve had trouble with this in the past
Me: Hmm If I had the double stroller, I would leave it out and carry the baby and the girls would use the bathrooms on their own. Neil(4.5) might need help with his pants. If I need to use the bathroom, all of them line up outside the stall and I would tell them to put their hand on the wall and to make sure I can see their feet from my stall. I have yet to start potty training the youngest. He is ready but I am not ready to do the Mama I need to go now mad run to nearest bathroom
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you really should write a book you know.
Me: You know you are really good for my self esteem .. HUGS. Thanks Chox!
You know, you raise the bar so much….
you should get a super mom award….
P.S: I am not being sarcatic, been reading your blog from quite sometime.
Me: Thanks Kris. Delurk more
You are a true champ…no job in the world is harder than a SAHM managing 4 kids and other house work! *standing up and doing the salute*:-).
Me:
You are one super organised person. I agree that letting the kids do their own thing as long as they are safe works much better than trying to “make” them do something. What’s amazing is that all the kids take your instructions
Me: You know why, I am super strict abt them running away or not being abt in my line of vision(If you cannot see me means you are too far away. Neil will scream,can you see me MOm from 3 feet away). I have been known to turn back the van or pack every one up and go back home. Once Neil disappeared with one of his friends, we were at miniature golf course and after playing the game, he and his friend ran inside the arcade. The rest of us were still giving the clubs back. My friend wasnt much concerned abt his child running away since he didnt go far and was just inside the arcade. But to me/us, it was huge huge mistake. So instead of going to his best friend’s house for dinner, we told him we are going home and we did. They learn never to run away after doing this 1-2 times. This is why I can bring them out myself because of the training I gave since young
I am an evil supermom
Supermom!
*doing a full fledged sashtaang namaskar* and again realising what an awesome woman Asaaan is!!
i dont think i will cease to be amazed by you!
hugs!
Me: ha Thanks Abha
Wow! You are so well organised! I manage fine with one child, but I know for sure, that I would have lost one of them, if I had just one more
Me: That is one of my biggest fear, that we’ll drive off to someplace and one of the children will be left behind.
Six Flags is a parents’ nightmare. It’s so easy to get lost. And it’s really tiring, waiting in lines. I don’t recommend it for small children. Or… well, anyone unless you like to wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride.
Love your blog posts!
Me: I hated the waiting. We did Six Flags 2 years ago when NK’s company had a family day there. We did Disney in 2005. I am done with those. We did the Santa Cruz boardwalk rides in May, again a company event. I am done with rides. I hate wasting time in lines.
Oh evil supermom, pliss to channel some of your evil supermoness my way. Desperately need it to teach my son a few things.
Super cool Asaan ..I am more and more in awe of u as I read more and more abt the way u r bringing up ur children. Hope ur foot is better now.
This is wonderful. We need to be contantly ready to change our plans and turn back home to convey to the kids we mean business. Sadly though, most of us dont follow through. You are doing a great job S.
Me: Thanks Anamika. I hate it most when moms dont follow through with consequences because it is not convenient to them. Then next time, the child knows he isnt going to be punished.