I hardly cry. When I was younger and everyone else was crying at the airport, I would have dry eyes, After I became a mom, my hard heart melted a bit and I started crying more easily.But still amongst my sisters, I am one of the last to cry. But today at the allergist, I broke down completely.
For the past 2.5-3 weeks, something has been going on with Samar. He keeps breaking out in hives. He has been getting open wounds on his groin, behind his ears, under his armpits. Normally, this happens because I either gave him something he is allergic to or he ate something wrong. Either way, its something that I would have known and not given it to him ever again and his skin would clear up in 1-2 days. Not this time though.
I took an appointment with Samar’s pediatrician since his allergist was on vacation. The ped was pretty horrified at his skin condition and stated that Samar is in the top 1% of all the eczema kids he has seen in his office. He prescribed prednisone, a powerful steriod which affects virtually all of the immune system. He was on a 3 day twice a day regime. Samar was also given cephalexin, which is a antibiotic used to treat skin infections. As soon as he started both medications, his skin cleared up. We went camping.
Last Thurs, again I noticed him scratching. Friday, he broke out in hives. Sat he looked like he had a heat rash all over his body. I gave him 2-3 showers, I slathered him with Aquaphor, I gave him his antihistamine. I applied the antibiotic creams on his cut and it just got worse. Nothing worked and he got worse.
I knew it was something that he was eating. It had to be. But I couldnt figure out what. I hadnt change his diet. rice, applesauce, bananas,Gorilla Munch Cereal. and his special formula was all he had. We hadnt been out in the sun. I didnt change detergents.
Icouldn’t figure it out. Do you know what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night and your son is scratching till he draws blood. When all he can do is cry and say Mama itchy Mama itchy. I carried him and rubbed his back till he went back to sleep. I couldnt sleep after that and was up from 3a/m to 5.30. I kept going over the day events, and over what he ate hoping that I could figure it out. I tossed and turned and yet nothing I could put my finger on.
He had an allergist appt at 3.45p/m today.(side story, by the time I reached the office, both boys were napping in the car and the double stroller was in the other car. I was stuck. I had to walk through the parking lot and go up 7 floors with 2 heavy sleeping boys. I let Neil sleep a bit more and then woke him up. I sort of half walked half dragged Neil while Samar was sleeping on my shouder. The girls carried my diaper bag and walked ahead of us. At times like this, I so wished I had a maid. Nk pretended had a meeting)
Finally the older 3 waited outside and Samar and I went to see Dr M. He asked me what happened. And thats why I broke down and started crying. I sobbingly said I dont know.I am doing something wrong but I dont know what. In between hysterical sobs, I gave him the all the medication he was on the previous week. He hands me a tissue and pats me and says, Listen, this is not your fault. It might the hot weather. It might be the pollen. It could be anything. You are not a bad mom. (I started crying louder.) He then says I am going to check on something and I will be back soon.
When he left, I took 2-3 deep breaths and calmed myself down.
He then told me what to do. Restrict his diet to bananas, applesauce, canned tuna in olive oil and rice. He also put Samar on a stronger steriod ointment and a different kind of antihistamine.As many baths as he can tolerate. Slather him in Aquaphor.He wanted us to come back in 1 weeks time.
I nodded my head and left the clinic. Grabbed all the 4 kids and went grocery shopping. Dropped the prescribtion at the pharmacy. Meanwhile, we shopped looking for canned tuna when suddenly I found this
Coconut Milk Yogurt
This yogurt is something that I have been searching for ever since I heard about it last year. Its made with rice and coconut milk. Its expensive $2.79 for the small container but oh so worth it. Samar was so excited. Samar can have yogurt, he kept asking me. I gave one to him as soon as he got home. Its 11 and now and he is sleeping peacefully, and hopefully through the night.
Waiting to pick up his medication
Awww… poor thing!!
I could feel his pain all the way here.
Please do keep us updated about his health. And i hope he recovers as soon as possible!
Don’t worry, he’ll get better. Kids catch all sorts of stuff all the time.
So just keep doing what the doctor advised you to and he’ll be a-OK in no time.
Me: I hope so too Miss M.
Hugs..it will all be fine very soon.
Ohhh darl, i hope he gets better. lots of hugs
Seeing your kids in pain can really break you down. I hope Samar gets well soon. Take care and do keep us updated.
I’ve never commented here before, I usually just read in awed silence. I hope Samar responds well and recovers, and you can figure out what’s setting off his allergies. Poor baby, made me tear up reading about his reaction to the coconut yoghurt (what a concept!).
And here’s a fitness site that I think you’ll like: http://www.stumptuous.com/. Mistress Krista is my (our?) kinda gal – badass, with a potty mouth and not afraid of weights or “getting bulky”
-DS
Me: Another de-lurker. YAY! Will check out that blog soon.
awww poot baby
u cant help but cry at times like this
he’ll be fine soon dont worry
hugs, Sraikh. sorry that i am unable to offer anything more than that. but big hugs. i’ve found that usually after a breakdown – which is when you’ve typically hit all time lows – things all around you pick up. which means you’re going to find his allergen soon. good luck.
Me: You know, he has actually improved this morning. His heat rash on his cheeks looks much better.
I am so sorry for Samar. Poor baby, that is a lot to deal with. I hope he gets better soon and you figure out what it is that’s causing the reaction.
Hugs !
Hope he gets better soon. Sending lots of hugs your way and Samar’s. I am sure you know, but just wanted to reiterate that the way you handle your kids and your life is an inspiration to me and many more like me.
Sometimes I wonder why fathers never go through these phases of guilt and self-doubt.
Oh the poor thing! To have to go through it..
Don’t worry, am sure that the doctor will be able to figure out what is going wrong.. Take care, you are doing everything possible!
hey who knows? in a couple of years he might be all clear. you might then read these posts and only then remember these times.
sending up a prayer for him. itchy skin go away.
Me: And when he is older, I can show him what all I went through for him and that he better be nice to his mamma
Aww deh,you are so right about you being the last to cry, and me the FIRST! I got all teary (fil looked at me, saw me wiping my tears)reading that part where u wrote, ” And thats why I broke down and started crying. I sobbingly said I dont know.I am doing something wrong”. Wondder what’s going on with him, hope he gets better….so now he s only rice, tunna and applesauce. Does he like tuna? Bechara hai, my poor boy… hang in there…. U are very strong,,,, strongest among us.. like renu says, “if u get emotional and cry like me over smallest thing, then how will u be able to handle situations like these”. So she said, love you and take care.
Me: Aww big hugs. This made my cry as well. I have become a softie lah. Keep getting tears for small reasons. Love you too deh.
We moms lead stressful lives. Till recently I held onto my tears on this whole strength thing. These days I just let go. It seems too much effort to hold on nd I don’t see the point.
He’ll get better soon. With age, the skin conditions lessen in severity. Hang in there. You’re a cool mom and you know that
Let me give you a big hug.
My little one is 11 months old now started getting cradle cap from 2 months and it change into eczema. I know what you are going thru. She doesn’t have food allergy and it is frustrating that I don’t know what is causing it. I usually sleep next to her holding her hand all night. There was one morning I went to the bathroom and came back and saw blood all over hand.
I work full time and we have a babysitter who does nothing but sit next to her watching her all day. I only sleep 3-4 hours a night but I am used to it now. I know I shouldn’t be saying this but I cried reading your article.
I pray he will feel better soon.
Give him a tight hug
K.
Me
I hate seeing them draw blood. Hate it. You poor thing. big hugs as well.
Ohh Sunita hugs to you.
He will be ok. Like the doctor said it could be anything, and it is not your fault. But I totally understand why you cried. Do cry and let it all out. It will make you feel better.
i wish i could say something to make you feel better
it must be so tough!
take care and don’t blame yourself…and wishing hegets better soon and all this remains a bad nightmare
Hugs, and tight ones there. I can imagine your consternation, though I am sure it must be much worse for you than what I think. Its great that you could stay brave till you reached the allergist. He will be fine, just have faith, its great he has a mother like you, who is taking so much of an effort to keep him well. he will be fine, believe in it and he will make it.
Are you looking at natural therapies for this, they are often way more effective than traditional western medicine. Just a suggestion based on my beliefs, experiences and observations. Give it a try I would suggest, if you can get hold of a reliable practitioner.
Hugs again to both you and Samar, sending you both my love for strength and support.
Me:Thanks GM, writing all this down has helped as well. Blogging is better than seeing a therapist. so much cheaper as well.
Ohh hope he recovers soon and yeah you are not a bad mom and it’s ok to cry…you are their strength
hey, i can understand what you are going through…we also have been dealing with this for some time now..mine is 18 months and they are going to do a bloodwork soon. i am hoping he”ll outgrow atleast corn. he’s allergic to wheat, sesame seeds, soy, dairy, corn, eggs and peanuts. dr asked us not to give fish or treenuts too. i also found out he’s allergic to moong dal, mangoes , bananas and some other dals. so he lives on neocate, rice and tur dal and few veggies and fruits. in this country, its hard to find stuff without corn. but if you go to wholefoods, you can find more options. i”ll mail you a list with the stuff i found. this coconut yoghurt is a life saver. also it you havent found this yet, this same brand makes coconut icecreams and icecream sticks which are yuummy. they also have a coconut milk based stuff which you can use for cereals. here is the link to their website
http://www.turtlemountain.com/products/products.html
also i have been experimenting with amaranth flour to make rotis. you can make rotis with amaranth flour and potatoes. you can even make pooris. i”ll send you a detailed mail. its so hard for us as my 6 yearold doesnt have any allergies, but i stopped getting all the goodies for him as the little one has allergies. we have never heard of anything like this in our famly. hopefully thye’ll outgrow all this soon. also i know samar’s ige was close to 200. my baby’s level was 1100 when we tested at nine months
((
take care
Anju
Me: Oh my god. Corn too. That’s really difficult as corn syrup is in everything. Nk makes some kind of roti for Samar. he uses applesauce and the GF flour to make pancakes. I stopped getting alot of stuff for the older kids as well. I wrote a post abt it long back..
I am sorry to hear this S. It must be so damn hard. Have faith. He will recover. Try making him wear full sleeved shirts and pants made of soft cotton, like kurta pajamas, atleast while at home. It may help control the excessive itching. I know a lady whose son had severe eczema few years ago, just like you mentioned about Samar. I dont know how he is doing now but I have seen the bleeding that you talk about.
Me: yeah he has a onesie on always so that he doesnt scratch his tummy area off. and then a shirt over it and long pants
Another close friend’s son also suffered when he was little but his was only on his feet and that family swears by homeopathy. Now he is 6 and for the last 3 years, his skin is as normal as the other person.
Trouble with homeopathy is that it takes a long time to show results and also there is a phase when it makes it worse before it starts to heal. The idea being it uproots the disease from within. I have no idea how it works, nor do I use any homeo meds myself but I have seen many positive results, especially for skin related ailments. Have you ever considered it? Let me know if there is anything I can help you with in terms of more information.
Me: My fil in India brought us to some practioners but we didnt have time to dig deeper into it. I might research it here but its so $$ and most insurances dont cover it.
Can so feel your pain and helplessness. Hope he feels better soon. Hang in there!!
He’ll get better soon.
Please tell us what happens. *hugs*
Oh I am so sorry – Here’s hoping the doctor finds out what’s wrong ASAP.
You’ve probably run through this already, but here are the things I thought of: can you check the ingredients on the store-bought items? Could any of them have changed recently? Bedding? Clothes? Carpets, curtains? Does he play someplace – has something changed there? My son’s asthma went crazy the days his school sprayed for mosquitoes, changed the mulch in the playground etc.
You mentioned swimming a while ago – pool chemicals tend to exacerbate excema…(I don’t rememeber if S is in swimming as well) – lastly, can you maintain a record of the times his hives break out, to see if you can correlate that to something that’s happenning?
Good luck and my prayers for Samar and you…
M
Me: I did check his ingredients. I suspected his formula since we just got a new shipment. The doc said that would be unusual and the company would inform the doc/patients. He did take swimming classes but this outbreak was long after we were done with classes. If it had happened within the 2 weeks, I would understood but it didnt. No new beddings or curtains. we were at the library and the gym’s daycare. We went camping and it was in the high 80s. I truly dont understand it. The doc explained to me, at times you cannot understand why and frankly right now it not important why. We need him to be better first and then we can come up with reasons later. Thanks for the ideas M
And you made me cry too
Hugs to you. This too shall pass.
Me: Hugs.. I hope he outgrows this by the time he starts Kinder
Dont worry, just keep the faith, everything will be well soon. You are doing everything you can and it is OK sometimes to just let go a cry your heart out. Helps release the stress that has been building up.
Me: yup, that and retail therapy and alcohol and chocolate–good stress releasing stuff
awwww… i got sad reading this..its unimaginable what u must have felt. ((hugs)) to Samar. I m sure he will get well soon.
Me:Thanks Reema. I hope so too
Oh dear…don’t cry…that doc was right, please don’t blame yourself, you are already doing your very best!
With all the extra care and medication, am sure Samar will clear up and be hopping around playing like a happy deer in no time. Just wait and watch
{{Hugs}} to you..chin up.
Me: Thanks A. I think it just was too much. I did feel much better after my hysterical outburst.
Oye, I thought you are the strongest mom on earth…..well, i guess all moms break down when it concerns their offsprings….
And you even write your hardships with a twist of fun…
“You are not a bad mom. (I started crying louder.) ”
I was reading intently until I hit the above sentence and my colleague came running as I laughed hard…….
Me:
Ok, jokes apart…our kid (now 10 months old) had the same thing when she was small. We figured it was triggered by the lentil family as all moms from Mera bharat mahaan wants to use the home made soap powder so the small ones can turn white when they grow up (whatever)
So we stopped that. I being the one closest to medical field knew it will go off but will take time. As usual wife wants to go to doctor and the same old story…anti histamines (low power steroids, aquaphor) etc…
but guess what….we did not use any and so far have been lucky to not get it back…
Use regular Vaseline instead of aquaphor as regular Vaseline goes in to skin pores and leaves it dry after a couple of hours removing any chance of inflammation. I know most doctors here dont know abt that.
And i know samar’s situation is bad…but may be later stop all the steroids as it is not good for a kid and try natural stuff. research online for ur specific prob and u will be amazed…
also specific brand clothing have an effect…for example, carters is a NO for our kid. all say 100% cotton….but heck we all know they are not.
Me: I hate using such strong medication on him but I have to. Its dry, he scratches, he makes it worse. Its a vicious cycle.
I stop the steriod when he does improve and go back to our regular lotions and such. For me I feel Aquaphor is the best because it slathers on well.We have Vaseline as well and sometimes I use that. Another one is Cerave. It is really thick and gooey.
Any food try for atleast a week before you think it is safe…eczema is not one type it has million types…some will trigger instantaneously..some will develop over time…heat will never trigger it…it might make it worse.
and while at home …dress as little as possible in the areas of outbreak…and if breast feeding (sorry I forgot his age), you also should avoid all foods he is allergic to.
A simple example. Other day wife was making sabzi and forgot to wash her hands with anti bacterial soap thoroughly…she takes the kid to give her a bath and lo and behold …we can see small red rash coming….
so things like this…even my wife used to freak out (still does, hope she dos not read this) but there is no point in freaking….
in summers use a baby powder instead of lots of vaseline as it provides breathing room.
oh, one more thing….change soaps…use soaps with no additives….most of them have some form of extract….if nothing try glycerin based soaps (100%)
dont worry…you will be back to the world’s greatest mom title in no time…..
Me: He bathes with just water. I never use soap on him. He dries out too much. Do you know what my allergist suggested. Throwing in a cupfull of Chlorox while taking baths!!! Apparently its the latest thing at National Jewish(its a hospital in Denver ). I looked at him like he was insane. He said apparently it kills all the germs/bacteria on the body. Pss your wife reads my blog too?
Just wanted to echo what the doctor said — it is not your fault. Hope he is feeling better now. First time commenter here btw. A low bow to you, you are a superwoman.
Me: waves hello. It feels like its my fault although I know it isnt.sigh..
Must have been some rough time..hope Samar gets well soon and mama is back to her normal self!
Take Care!
I am not sure if she read the blog. i did mention to her abt you.
Cerave is a good one…cetaphil is based of that. I have extremely dry skin and I know what you mean. Nest time a doc says use cholorox on child, just kill him. Is he nuts. American college of pediatrics never agreed with that. It was proposed by a group of practitioners who did some work with animals. Most of the stuff is tried on dogs, then monkeys and then humans. Trust me when I say FDA does not care most of the times as if it is safe or not.
Me: I know right. Who washes with clorox(is there a H? hmm). Crazy. I use Cetaphil Cleanser to wash him on alternate days or when he is really filthy.
Use some mild soap…try different varieties on the leg or some area where he cant scratch and you will see true reaction. Only water (depends on Iron/fluoride ratio in your area) will over dry the skin. So watchout for that.
Oh by the way after you apply the antihistamine (god I hate that) use cetaphil or vaseline (dont be over generous) to cover the region you just applied teh cream to. The idea is that the extra thin layer of vaseline or cetaphil will avoid the urge to scratch. This has been tested and proved on myself.
All the best for samar. keep posted.
Me: I do that. YAY! I dont him rubbing the cream off so I put the aquaphor over it to prevent him from touching that area.
One the above commenter wondered why fathers dont feel it.
Answer is simple. Human genome(s) are different in genders. As the mother carries the child, the bond is deeper and hormonal changes are profound. Father does not feel until he holds the child and is less susceptible to fluctuations in hormones. Although hormonal changes in fathers have been proved beyond doubt. next time your husband does not react as much as you, cut him some slack.. after all poor guy has to take care of the child and the hysterical mom…
OMG, I know I just invited a nuclear attack from all moms….going in to hiding.
Me: HA! Are you a NK supporter? I get the whole completely different wiring but having a meeting at my appt times just sucks!
This post touched me too S… I really he feels better soon.
Could Samar have impetigo? It is when eczema or weepy skin gets infected. Just a thought because my daughter got it a couple of times and it required antibiotics to clear it up.
Me: hmm The ped called it a staph infection. I wonder whats the difference. Its cleared up now though.
I really feel for you. I have been exactly where you were at the allergists office. hysterical because it seemed I could do nothing right to make my child better. It passes. It has been 7 years now and we have all learned to cope.
You are doing exactly what helped my daughter. Bathing with only water, no soap, only cetaphil cleanser, aquaphor on top of the medicine ointment. A humdifier in the room also helped. When she swims … that is everyday… she covers her skin with a thick layer of vaseline before she gets into the water, to stop the chlorine from drying out the skin even more. All this did help, so keep right on.
I also have her under the care of a dermatologist. The allergist knows what makes her break out, but the dermatologist really knows what to do to fix the severe eczema and hives and what not. That really, really helped. That was probably the move that started the turn around.
Me: You know the ped told me the same thing. The earlies appt availabe at the Children’s hospital is Sept 4th. I will let you know what they say.
Is Samar able to tell you when something makes his throat itchy? That might be a clue if something he ate made things change.
Me: Hmm he has never said that to me. He only complains when his body itches.
If I can hold your hand through this period while you fix or understand whatever can be fixed or understood, I can, and I will. I do understand. Just reading what you wrote was emotional for me and brought back a flood of memories.
We still do battle with her eczema and allergies everyday, but we know it gets better… it always does
Me: Thanks Kiran(pss you know your username is still my 3rd or 4th most searched query on my blog) I will email you next time I have a breakdown instead of posting for all of blogwordl to see
Just saw this….big hugs..u are super mom…so more big hugs
I became teary juz reading it..
And juz cant imagine how u can handle it..
Hope he feels better sooon..
You are hilarious Kris!
Just saw this..and I felt really bad…
all I can say is..”hang on there”…
And this too will pass.
Hugs
I’m really sorry to read this, Sraikh. It must be so hard to see your son uncomfortable and in pain. All I can say is that I hope, wish and pray that he is better soon.
Me:Thanks MJ
I am so sorry honey. Right there with you.
Please don’t blame yourself, I am sure he’ll get better soon and as he gets older, he won’t even break out lie this. Change in weather perhaps is the cause? Being allergic to change in weather, I go through terrible allergic spells every season.
Not to say its the same thing, but the weather works in strange ways.
Just keep that chin up and watch him smile eating yoghurt
Me: He loves that yogurt. I enjoy watching him lick the lid off..
Oh Sunita,Hugs.
I am in tears from the second para..:( May be because your pain is so evident,may be because it hurts to see little babies suffer,may be because Pip is going through the same for the last 2 days..ofcourse her allergies arent as bad as Samar’s..but it breaks your heart,when you cant do anything to soothe them.
Me:Poor liltte Pip as well.
I am glad to read that Samar is better now…Much as I love change of season..I hate the allergies that come with it.
Hugs again.
Hugs for you.. and lots of love to samar. My 3 year old, Lil P, also has food allergies .. but much milder and after starting homeopathy ( its easier in India) *touch wood* its improved a lot. As a mother, I can feel the pain you are going through. Hang in there
Me:Thanks Shruti..I have to look into homeopathy for him.