Chandini wrote this post a few days and I can so relate to her friend’s confusion.
Todays conversation:
Me: Ajja ka mausam kaisa hai? Achi yah Acha
NK: Can you just ask me that question in English? Stop speaking Hindi.
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I grew up speaking Bhojpuri with my mom/dada/dadi. In Bhojpuri, we have tomorrow and yesterday unlike Hindi’s kal and kal. Tomorrow is bihaan and yesterday is kalhiya(I am writing it how I pronounce it) . And then they are many words, which I think is Hindi but apparently is not. Like aadrak, we use halia(which is Malay for ginger). Or pintu(which is door) Or lampu(which is light) I dont use the hindi equivalent. Darwaja–isnt pintu much easier. I would speak to NK ..Pintu band kardo and he used to give me a WTF look. But I thought they were Bhojpuri words not Malay.
NK keeps correcting my genders in Hindi. I get most of them wrong. And then there is no rule about the genders which make it so much harder to learn the right one. Poori/Roti/Fulka/Bhature/Paratha are all rotis right but apparently some are masculine and some feminine.
I remember an incident right after I was married. Nk and I were in India and I went to the phone booth to make a call to my parents in Singapore. So I first spoke in English to my dad and sister and then switched to Bhojpuri with my mom. There were 2 police officers in the booth. They kept stealing glances at me.(Nk was outside) After I was done, those 2 guys asked me, Madam app kaha se ho.I said Singapore. They asked me why I spoke Bhojpuri and that it was a really sweet language.They came out to see who my spouse was and then they waved bye.
PS: My American readers, this post will not make sense to you. It doesnt make sense to me either!
Yes hindi genders are weird, although I get them right most of the times….its something about the way it sounds to the ear. Some genders sound right, some dont.
Me: I asked Nk right so give me the rules on what is female/male. And he said there is no rule. Its what it sounds like. what does that mean?
LOL.. It sounds just like the DH.. I was born and brought up in Karnataka so I speak Kannada (the DH’s mother tongue) fluently, but the DH’s Tamil (my mother tongue) sucks.. Infact one day, he wanted to ask me “why I was smiling (siripu)” in Tamil, but ended up saying “why are u slippering (cherupu)”
Me: Hahaha… they sound similar. My best friend’s growing up were Tamilians. I have quite the swear words stored. And silly phrases. I impressed one of my friends with my pronunciation of certain words. She then never spoke in tamil to her spouse. She was certain I understood it and was lying.
I had about your hindi conversations with NK in few posts before and often wondered which was your mother tongue … now I know
Me: Yup! Bhojpuri.
woooo im first.
Me: Hey no prize for being first. You took Hindi, were the genders hard for you?
That reminds me of my school days..I used to dread Hindi – I couldn’t and still can’t make out the genders
Husband,on the other hand, is a total expert 
Me:And does he always try and correct you? Mine drives me insane with his karta nahi karti or something like that
ROFL!! I know Hindi, only because i was in Delhi for all my schooling, else i would have been worse than you believe me.
And yes, Bhojpuri IS a sweet language.
Me: It is sweet. I dont speak it to anyone else except family though.
LOLing @ pintu band karo. it sounds funny!
Me: Imagine us laughing when we heard pintu a nickname in India.
lol
i am punjabi but dont speak much punjabi, N is a telugu but doesnt speakmuch telegu sigh
Me: Do you inlaws and parents fight over which language to speak to Ojas in?
I guess these days english is a universal language and is enough plus if in most part of india they pick up a little hindi anyways
Me: I learnt Hindi after I got married so there!
Yup, most people find the genders the hardest and the mistakes always sound funny to Hindi speakers
. I grew up speaking Marathi so while my Hindi is good it’s not “refined” according to my husband since he uses “tum, hum, aap” while I might slip into “mein” 
While there aren’t rules there are patterns though, so for e.g. words ending in ee sounds such as e, i sounds tend be feminine while words ending in aa sounds a, aa are more masculine. E.g roti, poori are feminine phulka is masculine.
This is just something I’ve figured out along the way and I’m not a Hindi expert so I could be wrong
Me: You know my chachi who teaches Hindi told me that as well but it doesnt work. I dont remember the exact words, maybe paani wasnt lerki? NK said it lerka and I told him this rule and he said it doesnt work. When he gets back, I would ask him for more examples.This has been a big issue and we have had loong talks about this. We are a crazy house, I tell you.
i too mess up with genders though i have learnt hindi from kindergarden and i end up not speaking in hindi to anyone in fear of making this gender mistakes…. but now i have decided to speak in broken hindi until their ears bleed.. temme how else will i learn then
Me: True. You need to speak it and then it will improve. Back in 97, when I first started speaking Hindi, I used to stammer and stutter in trying to find the right word in hindi. I have at least improved that much since then
I have been speaking hindi since I was maybe 6 and I also get my genders wrong sometimes
so no worries dear !!!
i was telling firstborn a story from mythology about a bird called sampati….
and firstborn wants to know if sampati is a “dirty” bird…
i asked him what made him think so…
“sampa” in malay means garbage — that’s where he got this notion(!)
Me: rofl.. I can imagine! Sampah is trash.
Have you picked up any Malay words? Do you keep finding Sanskrit words in them?
LOL!
I have one rule..anything that ends with I or ee sound is feminine.
what ends with aa sound is masculine.so,
Roti is feminine and paratha is masculine. I am a marathi gal and Dh is a Mallu guy..we speak to each other in hindi/english.I end up using many marathi words..like they belong to Hindi..
Our Child(oh i like ring of that!) speaks hindi,english and follows marathi.but she knows..whatever is mine/hers(girl’s) she uses ki..Like Mamma ki/aadi ki..
For him/boys she uses ka..Baba ka..so there she is simplified it..to work for her..It sounds cute so we dont correct..Mamma ki mobile..baba ka roti..lol
Me: I like that rule, Simpliflies everything.
But it makes perfect sense to me. The grammar and gender differences in hindi freaks me out too. I don’t speak the language though!
well this reminds me of an incident i had abt a year back
There was this colleague who use to sit across the room and me the opposite side…
So once he happened to come by and was troubling me regarding something..
I wanted to tell him ” dont trouble me /dont embarass me …”
sumtin like that ..instead i said ” mera izzat math lootna ”
He was recently married then and he said “OMG…mein aisa ghor paap nahi karunga..abhi abhi meri shaadi hui hain “…
he calls me ” danger ” ever since .
Me: hahahahah ghor paap.
yeah genders are pretty tricky. but when im not sure, i juz make up a gender for a thing. got a 50% chance of getting it right anyway.
I absolutely love this mish mash of languages – it carries with it stories of 150 years of migration.
lovely post asaan- and MiM, loved your little story.
Me: It does, doesnt it. I love what I speak with my family back in Singapore. A mixture of Hindi/Bhojpuri(like I never use sakaar, always cheeni and apparently people dont use cheeni)Hokkien and Malay. A pity my kids wouldnt get to experience it
The DH claims that the only way to learn a language was to master the swear words and the vulgar sentences
Yes, I think Paani is masculine. Paani gir gaya nor paani gir gayi. And this logic about ee and aa…what about words ending with others sounds…like u…which is what started Chandni’s post
))
Too much confusion. I say, just speak confidently and assume you are right. The listeners can figure it out
Me: I always do that and pretend that the other person is wrong.