The last child is one who is dragged to soccer practices. The one who is sleeping at a awkward angle in the umbrella stroller at Girl Scouts Meetings. The one who has hand me downs to last him until the next century. The one who thinks the world of his siblings. The one who isnt afraid to take on children twice his size because his siblings taught him well
The last child also never gets to do anything fun for HIMSELF. His parents are too busy dealing with STAR testings, what to bring for show and tell and twenty thousand more important things than to plan something just for the last child. And the last child never once complains. He would transfer happily from the car seat to the stroller to the crib and yet be sleeping peacefully throughout it all. He thinks wearing his brother’s Power Rangers Tshirt is the best thing EVER. He would share his last lollipop with his older sisters. He would happily munch on raisins while his siblings are gorging themselves on birthday cake.
I signed Samar up for a gymnastics class. To say he was excited is an understatement. From the time he woke up, all he could say Samar is going to do somersault. This is the first time, this poor deprived child is doing a class. He was such a trooper. He jumped, he climbed, he swung on the roman rings. He sat down quietly when told to do so. He thought getting the stamp on his hand was the best thing ever.
I feel so guilty that I have never done a class with him. The rest of the kids, Avasha had done some classes before Neil was born. Neil did some classes when Avasha started preschool and before Samar was born. By the time, Samar came along,I was too wiped out to try anything. Between his allergies and the older kids’ school activities, all I could manage was to do a head count and make sure everyone was strapped in before taking off. To see him today at class, made me realize how big he is. When he waited patiently for his turn at the trampoline. When he stood in line to get his coloring page. You know those parenting manuals will tell you everything from breastfeeding to how to use the rectal temperature. What they really need to include is how do we get rid of the mommy guilt. How do convince ourselves that he wouldnt remember. That its okay he didnt do any class till he was 3. Thats what those parenting manuals need to include.
Crawling through the tunnel
Up in the castle
Pssst:My 2nd post is up at Style Per Diem
I have no idea how should I tell you not to worry my dear…. I am sure he will never ever complain about it… he looks nice n healthy.. hope the allergy has gone totally..
Me: Yes he has cleared up reasonably well. *Knock on wood*
how sweet. By the time the second/last one arrives we have learned and I like to think I wait to let him pick what he wants to do that me havign the energy to experiment
Me:rofl. Okay I will save that in my arsenal of things to use when they are older.
Aww..that was one beautifully written post dear girl.
The title made me think you are gonna say something in the lines of feeling bad that Samar is possibly your last baby..no more
You made up for all the guilt by writing your heart out here..and telling how much you love him for what he is!
That boy will sure grow up into a very happy, loving and fun person.
Me:Oye, of course he is my last baby. I am never getting pregnant! *shudders at the thought of 3 am feedings* I think he will be such a laidback person. kuch bhi chalage type wala.
As a last child I will tell you that some things *do* stay with you. They *do* bother you as you are growing up. And yes, some of those things *do* make you angry with your parents – until you become one yourself. Then you appreciate all the things they *did* manage to do with you and for you
So all well that’s well really.
Priya.
Me: Sigh, and we deal with that anger until said child realizes the parents’ worth.
dont worry some of us are in the midst of first child guilt syndrome…
Hurray for Samar..he is a trooper, I have one at home too except that he is my second !
I have one at home too except that he is my second !
I really don’t know what to tell you dear. Seeing him have such a good time must have made you so happy. Think of it this way, if he went for any classes before he wouldn’t anyway remember coz he was too young . Classes at 3 he will remember when he grows up!
Brilliant post. I enjoyed every line of it.
In my point of view, you have great photographs and videos to show him of his childhood. That’s all they need as a proof of childhood. I assure you they won’t remember anything more that that. If you have any bad memories in photographs, destroy them.
But I do think 3 is a right age for classes. while there’s nothing wrong in sending before 3, they don’t miss any life support skill if they didn’t go until 3. What say?
Me: I know that rationally. But still I felt bad. To see him so happy because he was the only one at that time who had my complete and full attention. You know having more kids doesnt cost much, somehow one would find the money but its the time that is distributed so unevenly. Especially for people who live alone with no extended family. I am so envious of kids who have BOTH sets of grandparents present for their school stuff.I dont know how the crazy Duggars survive
hey its okay. no classes/activities can teach a child what he/she learns from sibs/cousins.
*so says another guilt-ridden mom*
Me: Join the club chox
think u r being unnecessarily hard on urself
Me: I know! But thats what I do!
Three older siblings, what else does a child need. He has the best, there are so many to take care of him
Me: yes he does. Especially since the girls baby him so much
Bless his heart – lovely little boy.
You are doing well Mummy
and yeh the Duggers – they are running an institution not a family.
Me:rofl!
Aww.. that was such a lovely post and Samar looks all kicked by the newfound er.. attention. I understand where this post came from and kept nodding my head with affirmation from the beginning to the end. I was thinking of baby and realised, no matter there are 2 or 4 of them, the last born is always a breed of its own.
Me: Yes, thats why I am wondering how the duggars survive. She is pregnant with their 19th child I think!
guilt goes hand in hand with mommyhood i think. not that it makes it any easier knowing that but. 3 is the right age woman….he had the awesome opportunity of being in a big family, brothers and sisters who rounded him out and his social skills will be awesome too i think. plus when all the other firstborns in school are taking baby steps, he will be way ahead in the game simply bcos he knows better from being among all his siblings at home. i think he has a terrific mom.
Me: I know al this mentally but emotionally its hard to accept. You know he is the most social amongst the kids. He will talk to anyone and isnt shy. Neil and the girls take time to warm. I would have to prompt them to say hi but not Samar. I cannot wait to see how he would do in the first day of school. He satrts next week.
checked out the style link – your arms look so thin now! i dont know if its the tshirt sleeves particularly but wow. and i agree with the other commenters the wide leg pants were very flattering.
Me:Thanks Nat!
First up, i love the first photo. he is looking cho cho cute. Touch wood. Forget the past, and look at the present. As long as you are doing it for him now, that is what counts S, and you know that!! Our kids are so precious to us, that we are never good enough for them, and it is normal don’t worry about it.
Me: its a such a cute picture!Thanks PG!
Look at the bright side, the younger kids have have both the parents and siblings as a support system, so any less attention he might get from you he’ll make up in attention from his older siblings
In my experience younger kids tend to be more confident and outgoing and have more friends because they are used to dealing with larger sets of people from birth.
Me: You know there are entire books on how your placement in the family size affects your whole personality. Firstborn are leaders, blah blah.
This child is one lucky one. 3 siblings who dote on him always and not to forget one Mamma who will pamper him always.
Mommy guilt will always be there, Sunita. Even when we do the right things. Can I give you some hugs? Will it work?
Me:Hugs back. It does work.
Stop beating yourself up, chile. He’s soon be in the throes of t(w)een angst and more to worry about sucky gymboree! (there! made you better eh?)
Me: You did!
awww this is soo sweet..:)stop worrying about your last born..he sure looks like a happy child..and from what i read he is happy to share..knock on the wood!
I think I did nothing for my first and am doing nothing for my second. I was guilty then and I am guilty now. I want a 3rd child very bad but I am unfit to be a mommy third time round. You on the other hand inspire a lot of us. Samar looks like a happy kid in all the pictures that I have seen of his. Thats the only thing that matters and you nailed it.
Me: go for the third!!!
“all I could manage was to do a head count and make sure everyone was strapped in before taking off.” Ha ha ha, I know just what you mean! He’s enjoying, so you should too, skip the guilt.
Awww… I got teary. He’s such a good boy. I know what you mean though… I have only two and I’m constantly feeling guilt about what I’m not doing for one that I’m doing for the other. I don’t know how you do as much as you do! Samar is such a sweetie, and I am sure he does not feel he is missing out, he has such a full life with 3 older siblings to play with.
Me: I think the guilt’s wired into our genetic code.
as long as he has fun doing whatever he is doing its cool!
and he is looking absolutely adorable in these photos!!
hugs!
It is great to hear that Samar is enjoying his gymnastics.
This feeling is so familiar. For my older one, I always awwwwed and ewwwwed for each single thing. But now for the younger one, it is like “well, this is the time she should be doing it”, great… Well, it is not as plain as that. We do awwwee on her too
, but the anticipation is different. I find myself more relaxed when parenting my younger one and I think it is easier on her as well…
Bull crap !! Im eleven and im the middle child and life sucks. The eldest child is the Leader, and the last child is spoiled rotten , while middle child tries to find themselves. Trust if the youngest kids were the middle child they would be in for a rude awakeing. Ive never done a class with my mommy and I deal with it. I feel deprived of happiness.