I have mentioned that I am part of local desi moms group. I posted the baby shaking incident. And this past week, we heard another sad news. Its every mom’s nightmare. Something that you dont want to even read about(AKA you close this browser now) but yet it happens.You would think such incidents only happen in 3rd world countries not in our own backyards. I am posting her story here
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My whole pregnancy was absolutely normal with no complications but my labor was
the most dreadful part .I had dilated as it was VBAC case .But they had to take
me for crash c section and when my baby was born she was not breathing , had no
heart rate …..i didnt’t even see her and she was shifted to NICU but then I
was told that she needs to be shifted to UCSF NICU as she had undergone some
brain damage and there they can give her “lowering the body temp ” treatment .
We agreed to that …i hadnt seen her …they didnt let me.
My husband and son went to see her in UCSF same day .
After my staples came off i was able to move around a little bit then i went to
see her there in tears with the breast milk that i pumped for her in my hands
…in a wheelchair and there i see her lying with 30 tubes attached to her,5-6
machines around her.Never in my dreams I had thought that something like that
can happen too. I was crying …what has happened . Then her DR. told me that
she had undergone extensive brain damage …that even if she’ll survive she’ll
be like a vegetable her whole life .I asked the dr …did s’thing happened her
when she was inside me …he said after seeing the MRI reports all we can say is
that whatever happened to her was during the labor…before that she was fine .
I was shocked …all of us were crying .And the dr. talked to my husband and
advised him to take her off the life support.
She died in my mom’s arms the next morning exactly at the time she was born and
after 5 days .
This is my story …and all this happened in may of this year…so you all can
imagine what we are and myself are going through.
Diwali is coming and the thought of that makes me sad coz it was last year on
diwali that we told everyone that i was pregnant.
I’m still trying to get over from that …try to be normal in front of everyone
…tired for some reason so that i can sleep at night and not cry anymore .I’m
fine but still i feel like killing that dr who delayed my c section by one
hr…if not for her mistake she would have been almost 5 mths today.
I want to get pregnant as soon as possible but due to my c – section i’m very
scared.
we have even changed our insurance now.
I dont know why i told you guys my story but just felt like .All this happened with me in kaiser santa clara. To who so ever tell my story it breaks their heart …as so many of my friends and family have seen me healthy and fine and when i tell them this they just hold me tight or hug me .I am always smiling with tears in my eyes . even y’day night i was crying thinking that diwali is coming and my baby is not with me .
Thanks for reading and sharing your views with me .
ETA:HI there, we are suing them ….for the sake of other parents and other babies who die because some stupid doctor who was on call and she couldnt tell that an unborn child is stressing out .And had put my life at stake and killed my baby
I know i’ll be reliving those moments again but they have to learn a lesson ….atleast that dr has to .
I’m doing this for my son who is still waiting for his sister to come home to play with him .
how sad! I can’t even begin to imagine her pain
i dont know what to write, i pray to god to give her enough strength to go through this. dont know whether you have read about Aditya who passed away 2 years back. his parents were blessed with a baby girl this year, but she was born with severe brain damage. it was so shocking to read that, some times i feel why god is so cruel.
http://adityak02.googlepages.com/latestupdates – this is the link.
Me:OH MY GOD..what a tragic thing to go through again. Sad.. I feel so blessed now.
Hey dear, thanks for the warning.
I adamantly began to read ahead and stopped after the first 2 lines..I should listen to well wishers.
Whatever happened ..I hope the person in pain is holding up. God bless.
Me: She is, she is going to try and get pregnant again..HUGS AKA..Dont read this and dont google pregnancy stuff up. Google always brings the worst case scenario
shite.
gosh… i dont even know how to react
btw awesome header. imposs not to smile when you see it.
So sorry for this mother. But I hope she gets pregnant again and gets her baby back.
You know, I have heard some cruel stories about Kaiser in Santa Clara as well … boils my blood.
Another VBAC case gone wrong – God this is terrible stuff
Prayers to the family.
its indeed horrid. so similar to the VBAC case of Rashmi that MM had written about. how can these hospitals be so callous?!
hope she sees healthy and happy times ahead!
and what you said to AHK, so true! M stopped me from searching on internet pretty early on in my pregnancy! he would say Wki is NOT a doctor! hehe!
prayers being sent her way…
Oh god! My heart goes out to her.. This is the worst possible thing to happen..
The mum in me cries with this lady – the anticipation, the shock, the loss and the absolute sadness is overwhelming. I believe her daugher will be waiting for her in God’s arms. I want to comfort her and help her through her pain. But the Lawyer in me is ready to call this lady and take her bloody doctor’s arse to the courts and rip the crap out of him and the hospital. This kind of crap needs to be made an example of. Parents rights groups can help take this further. This should NEVER happen again. ahh!
http://friendsofmaddie.org/ is a charity that helps support to the families of critically ill babies in NICU and after.
Me:She is suing them.
God!!! this is so terrible… It reminded me of an incident.. when Samara was just abt a yr old, I had taken her to the local library for the rhyme time.. At the library i met another Indian who was voluntering there.. she was well into her 3rd trimester.. As we often do meeting Indians, we started chatting and she mentioned she was from Bangalore. As my husband is a Bangalorean, we exchanged telephone nos also mentioning that my MIL is at home and if ever she feels like chatting up with someone is her local Kannada just give a call…
2 weeks later, when i went to the library again, the library staff informed me that the same lady had some complications and docs cudnt get a heartbeat for the baby… she had to undergo the painful labour knowing that her baby was dead…
We often dont realise how lucky we are to have such an uncomplicated pregnancy and safe delivery isnt it…
Me: I feel blessed to have 4 healthy babies. I hugged them tighter yesterday.
I’m hearing stories like this way too often.
My heart goes out to her and her family.
Shit. I sometimes Google stuff on pregnancy and read such horror stories and imagine these things happening to me and then think why even try to have a baby if there is so much heartbreak! Sometimes being ignorant is the best.
what chox said.
M
WTF…this is the second horror story about VBAC that I am reading, the first one was by MM sometime back I believe. How the bloody fuck does a doctor not be extra cautious in such situations!!!
My heartfelt sympathies to the mom and if she is reading this…
Babies are precious, no matter how they arrive. C-section is a procedure that helps save babies who otherwise would have had serious complications via the vaginal delivery route. Do not ever ever think of going that route again even if the doctor recommends it. Have all your doubts and reservations on record. I am glad you are planning to get pregnant again soon. May God help make it smooth and easy.
This is so, so sad. I wonder why the doctor wouldn’t let her have C section?
We think my brother is autistic because of brain damage due to oxygen deprivation during delivery. My parents were poor and didn’t want to pay the extra hospital costs, so they held off on the C-section as long as they could. It has affected all our lives and I wonder if he would have been normal if they had just done the C-section right away.
Me: Sad Anita.
In my case, the doctor did not mention C-section even after 20 hours of labor. I was still not dilated, and Tom’s heartbeat was raising, and she said, let’s give you more drugs and wait 2 more hours. AJ said, “When do we talk about C-section?” But the doctor was very iffy and vague and didn’t really push for it. AJ kept asking me what I wanted, but in that moment, I was all drugged up and not thinking straight, and I just could not decide (plus I was scared of getting cut open). When the doctor left the room, we asked the nurse what we should do, and the nurse didn’t even hesitate. She said, “I would do the C-section NOW.” It turned out that Tom had turned on his side during labor, so he would not have come out the natural way anyways. If we had kept waiting, who knows what would have happened. So I am very thankful for that nurse.
Me: Gosh.. Thank god you listened to the nurse. Big hugs..
O God, this is horrible. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.
There is something that is bothering me in her account – she says “..try to be normal in front of everyone..” Please, please pass on a message from me to her – she doesnt have to try to be normal or live up to everyone’s expectations to be “normal”. I pray and hope that she takes the time to grieve her loss and I hope she will be able to have another child if she wants to.
Also, I’m really angry with her doctor. I hope they take away her license or something.
I should have ust taken your advice and closed the browser, this story will stay with me for a long time.
Priya.
I read this yesterday. I am still in shock. What happened? Can’t she sue the hospital for negligence?
Me: I just updated the original post. She is suing them.
So sad, what do you even say? I pray God heals her pain.
Really sad to read this. These things happen in split seconds and you don’t realize until it has gone bad. Very sorry for this loss.