Both TND and CA expressed a desire to see me prior kids. I can barely recall what we did last week let alone how I looked 12 years ago but I went hunting into deep crevices of my closet, searching in the dark corners of my suitcase. The one that had travelled back and forth from Singapore to USA.
I smiled as each photograph unleased a flood of memories. Nk and I met online in 95. We spoke to each other after 3 months of emails. We exchange photos after 4 months. He had included one nice photograph, all the rest were horrible. He had an awful beard in most.If he hadnt included a Arvind Swamy look alike photo, I would discountinued all communication(yes I am shallow that way) He also lied about how tall he was. 5’11 my foot. Mine were hmm spectacular, of course. And we met face to face at Changi Airport after 9 months of chatting Aug 7th 96. It seems like ages ago but I still remember that day so well. I wore a white long sleeve shirt and jeans. I remember thinking on the ride there, what if we dont click? How am I going to tolerate him for the next 2 weeks? What if all these emails were false and he was pretending to be something he wasnt. I of course was confident that he would find me exactly the way I described myself. I asked myself how do I tell this guy that hmm we are not meant to be together after 9 months of emails/calls/letters. The thought that he would think I wasnt right for him never entered my mind. I dont know why though, I think my self confidence? (I am also very modest! HA!) because hello how can anyone not like me? I had twenty thousand boyfriends and guys who were professing their undying love for me. In fact, years later we found out that we each had the same thought, how to reject the other one with face. Needless to say, we clicked and the rest is history.
Now when we were “dating” Nk wrote me for the most romantic sher sayari(poems). My Hindi was even more horrible then and I would take forever to understand them and their deep meaning. I had written down most of the poems in a diary. He has never written anything even remotely romantic since then. I keep telling him that I do not believe he wrote them and that he totally stole them off a friend. He claims pyar ka nasha mei admi badaal jaate hai.
This one is my favourite.(Too difficult to translate)
Woh din kaise hoga jab tumse milna hoga
ghata chayegi aur hawa gun gunayegi
Woh raat kaise hogi jab tumse mulakat hogi
chand muskarayega aur chandini khilegi
Woh shyam kaise hogi jab tum hamari hogi
suraj dhalega aur dil mei laher udhegi
Woh subah kaise hogi jab tum jago gi
chiriya chahckegi aur kali sharmayegi
Humko hai apne pyar pyar par pura pura yekin
Tum ho hamari kahta hai ye asman ye zamin
Now tell me, if you are a teenager who had just watched Maine Pyar kiya and were in love in the whole romantic Indian love story, and this guy keeps sending you these kind of sher shayari, wouldnt you swoon and die as well?
Early 96, with my sister Sonia. It was my chacha's wedding reception
May 97 Matheran, not married 
Mumbai 97, sigh my pretty hair
A small pile of the cards/letters
More letters/cards. I even saved the enevelopes
You ARE a gorgeous woman indeed !! Thanks for those pics … except for the hair, you haven’t changed much in all these years … what with weight loss determination and all … man you are almost pre-kiddy size
NK wrote those shayaris for you ??? WOW !! I don’t remember BP ever writing more than a line for me … I’d write lengthy emails and he would respond with “Call you later tonight” … thats it
Me: Yup he wrote me poems. Short ones, long ones. All sorts. I am rofling at “call you later tonight”
yes there is a touch of arvind swamy and frankly NK has aged better than Arvind. now hide the treasure trove of love letters acha, jawan betis growing up in the household and all
p.s:you my dear havent changed akhir perfection kau improve kaisey karey?
Me: Ashwina asked me what were those. She read a few in the diary and said she couldnt understand any
Are you all settled?
Wow! Very cute story! Before you know it,some Hindi movie folks might be making a movie out of it!
Me:
Wow! I wanna see more photos! You are so gorgeous in the first one with your sis. Well, in all of them actually. I’m sad I can’t read the poem, I’m sure it was so sweet. Hmm… I don’t think I have many things from when AJ and I were “courting”…plus, I tend to throw cards away after reading them. =)
Me:gasp! You threw away cards! No….
Very nice post! You look gorgeous in all the pictures. You so look like Lara Dutta in the first picture.
Me: MAska!!
that is so sweet S.. just a few days back i was thinking of asking you to write a post on how you n nk met
its so sweet because its kind of telepathy 
Me: Were you? Funny how sometimes that works. I think I have the how we met story somewhere in my archives. Search for sliding doors.
you guys met online.. cool no.. i met my husband online just after 10 years of you guys.. but i got no shero-shayri
Me: We are pioneers, then I guess in the field of online dating.
Hey I wanted to leave a comment this morning on the last post and then decided to wait to see if there were more comments that hadn’t been moderated yet. Now I can say what I wanted to, the reason the last post doesn’t have many comments is how many times can u say the same thing S- you look fab!
That picture in the last post is the best one of the present pictures…
The past ones! you look like a sexy siren…
Me: You need to concentrate on his poem and tell me whether you think he could have written it. Not my pictures!!! Concentrate.
awww..totally cute!
and he wrote you shayari’s too, kya baat hain! feels good to see pics from the past nah?
Me: It does. I also found the girls babies pictures. They were once so small.sigh
wah wah wah!
and you look pretty much like you did before 4 kids.
What a cute story. U guys look lovely together.
Now, I’m sure everyone wants to see wedding pics and know how that all worked out since u were in Singapore and he’s Indian. Well I’m dying to know! hehe
Me: Oh my parents and I flew to India and got married in his hometown. A whole day wedding affair complete with fights and crying and everything. It was horrible.
Nice blast from the past! You were a poetry muse?! Awesome!
Me:
Awesome poetry. Who wouldn’t fall for it
In our case, I’m the one (still) writing poetries 
I did receive love letters (e mails , one per day) though. Wonder why it stops after marriage 
And hey, you look pretty much the same. In fact I should say “better”
Me: It has pretty much stopped for me as well. Sigh.
Aww that is such a cute story and I can totally believe he wrote those poems – it sounds like something somebody crazy in love would write
Me: I think we were so young and innocent and naive. Sigh to go back to that age again…
You girl have not changed one bit, you look as smashing as you were as a young girl.The one with the sister you look very very young, perhaps you were just out of your teens then? But that Matheran picture? I say do that pose again with Nk in the same place and see for yourself – you haven’t changed much at all!
Me: Hmm 19 yrs old. Matheran was fun place back then. I think we need to make a trip back when we fly to Mumbai next time.
love the shaayari!!
vevy vevy nice! and loved the old photos too! its always fun to look through them, nahi?! 
cheers!
Me: yup it is.
awwww…. it was soooo sweet… me and K celebrated our 11 years together last week… and do u know what Idid most of the day… getting his maths right.. cos he kept insisting it was the 10th yr and not 11th..
Do u guys still celebrate on the 7th aug???
Me: Nope we dont. We just celebrate the wedding aniv if at all
Wow shayari and all haan?
You look so beautiful with long hair S! Really pretty pretty!
Me: sigh see reason above for not having long hair now.
Wow! Online meeting in 96 – you guys were ahead of your time
Such a romantic story! Shero Shayari! Wow! That was so sweet of him!
Me: yeah 96, We used telnet to chat and MIRC was in its first version. But now, its so common, everyone knows someone who met online. But to meet in 95 and be still together.. That one’s still makes people go a bit Awww..
And you look gorgeous! Absolutely stunning!
Me: thanks
And that matheran pic? So stylish…is that a leopard print scarf? Dono hero-heroine ke mafik lag rahe ho
Me: Yup, I went through a scarf wearing phase back then. I still have one huge silk one somewhere in my suitcase. My fav bhua gave it to me. Oh I have to tell you about the black 13 yr old dupatta NK gave in 95 and which I still wear to this day and is my fav dupatta ever.
the shayari’s sooo cute !!!!!!! and the pic from Mumbai 97 is the bestest
Me: It is one of my fav. There is another one I have in wallet taken in 96 in Singapore which always makes me go aww I was so young.
You have not aged a bit S. You look exactly the same even now(except maybe, the collar bones show a lil less, but I see you getting right back there!). Touch wood. And such a beautiful poem, so deep, so meaningful, so lovely. Aah! The smell of young love, the days when one can actually survive on just fresh air and love. This post brought a smile on my face.
Me: the collar bones, I dont think I would ever be that skinny again. To think I thought I was fat when I was teen. Young love…new love..this is why people remarry you know. To get that whole newness feeling all over again.
Do some nazar na lahgne waala thingumajig. You look just the same. JUST the SAME. Why dont u grow ur hair anymore?
Me: Its too thin. I have lost massive amounts of hair since my last pregnancy. The fullness and thickness I once had is loong gone. Plus when it goes beyond shoulder length,it starts falling and I would find my hair all over. Sigh…
awww…but you look good now too!!! Motherhood is beautiful!
Me: i think I need to dig the pic from 3 years ago. When I had Samar. I looked horrible.
Very impressed with the poem. Mine wrote a few on cards and letters and one day I tore all of them up to show how angry I was. I still regret doing it
Me: Oh no.
He does look like Arvind Swami! And nice shayari. I think he did write them considering the person he was writing for was more than worth every word.
Me: what a compliment.
Thank you!!
My husband never wrote anything for me, before or after
We didnt even see each other when we decided to get hitched. Then he came down and I married him. Still waiting for the romance to begin.
Me: hahahaha…Maybe you need to start wearing skirts.
You look innocent AND sexy in the yellow top pic. Now we all know thats the best combo to have, innit?
Ashwina is jr.NK!
So how did you introduce your online beau to your folks? How did they react?
Me: Oh my mom knew I was chatting and on phone with him(even different guys all over the world. mainly s/w Indian guys) She was so happy I was marrying someone from India who spoke Hindi. It didnt matter what caste or jaat or all that. As long as he was from India and spoke Hindi. I was like the best Beti ever.
Lovely shayari. Like you said how could you not love a guy who writes such letters? Nice pictures as well. Love you with the long hair
Me: It was all his trick to make patofy me. I once asked him how come he doesnt do all that what he used to do before marriage. His words: Ek baar admi bus mei bait jayege toh uski peeche baagneki(run) kya zarurat.
I agree with choxbox too…apart from the weight gain part which you have managed to reverse, you haven’t aged much. If I were to pull out my pictures from 1995 and put them next to me now, I will look like my own mother. Sure there is resemblance but aging!!!!
Me: I dont believe you! Fako!
Okay coming to what else you are talking about in the post, I didn’t say it earlier, I know what you mean…the online affair. The attraction of talking to someone you haven’t seen for a whole year, I mean 4 months in your case
.And if he does shero shayari too…I can imagine…no change that…I can empathize. The poem is very sweet in itself but I know what it must have done to you…MPK or No MPK. I have been there, felt that…
Except it didn’t end in marriage and thank God for that!
In my case he turned out to be shallow and his escape route was lets flirt but say we are friends till we meet. That’s how you do it without breaking someone’s heart into a 1000 pieces. You just continue to be friends
Me: hmm par ek larka aur ek larki khabi dost nahi hote. I curse MPK.. I didnt really watch Hindi movies and then all of sudden, a friend told me its the best movie ever and you have to watch it. So I watched it and watched DDLJ and all that.
You are looking lovely in the pictures.. you look great now too.. except for the long hair.. sigh!! I have never even tried growing my hair.. ever
The Shayari was just awesome.. no wonder you were floored.. You lucky girl.. All M wrote to me in response to my lengthy emails were short replies or promises to write soon.. however he did call me every night.. so I let the email debate rest! 
Me: Another one who says I will call.
hey i was just thinking the other day how Nk and you must hav met. this is sweet. and you are so gorgeous, specially with long hair
and your sister looks just like her daughter
Me: She does. Also she claims Avasha looks just liker her.
Awww..so absolutely delightful – the story, that shayari ( resounding wah!wah! on that), those early pictures ( sweeeeeeeeeeet) and the pile of saved up cards and envelopes.
Me: I dont know what I will do with them. I re-read some of them. And they were so mushy and I was cringing. I read some out loud to NK and he said can you burn them? Why are you saving them?
Sigh!
We never realize those are the best days of our lives when we are passing through them, na?
Thanks for sharing dearie
You look still the same,even after 4 kids. Good for you ! Enjoyed reading your romantic story, Thank you for sharing.
hey she’s right! now tht you’ve mentioned it, avasha does look a lil bit like her.
wowww thanx for sharing,Sunita!
I especially love the MAtheran pic and the one with long hair..Very nice.
I have cards saved too..:) both his and mine..:D
BTW,we met online too…in 2000..:D
Me: Another online marriage.
See! I told you Ava looks like me. Not so now, but when I was at her age, i see the resemblance. And deh, out of all pics, U HAD TO PUT THAT UGLY ONE OF MINE!! Ekkkk.I was like, “Why did she put that pic??”"
Me: Aiyah, I look nice in it, right? I actually couldnt find any older ones of us together. They are in another album and that album tak tahu di mana. Deh, I think I am forgetting more and more of my Malay.
Hey, you looked good then and you look damn good now! And yes…swoon-type shayiri that was!
How romantic !! I always feel that I have missed out on that thrill of falling in love and fighting the whole world to get married to the love of my life
Arranged marriages are so boring, ptch.
You look gorgeous in those pics.
Whoa ?
online chatting in 95′ ?
we had the first comp at home in 99 and my email acct in 2001 i guess
watever
still man ur awesome ..u guys dated online at an era where online chatting was not much heard of in india. and marrying a guy like that was a taboo way back then
i thot yours was an arranged marriage ..
but this is so cool. you guys fell in love and arranged it yourself .very good !
but why were u fighting and crying on your wedding day ?
Me: Long Long story about whose side rituals should we follow. It was really stressful. Imagine me all of 20 yrs old, and my parents were leaving me in the small town next day with Nk and his family. I could barely speak Hindi. I didnt know how to wear a saree. I didnt know whether I should touch everyone’s feet or should I not speak or what.Back in 97, being “foreign” was still rare, unlike now where everyone and his dog is in US, UK or Singapore. It was really hard for me. I was told a new bahu shouldnt wear ablack dupatta. When we went to relative’s house, and people would ask chai lao, I would immediately say YES and my mil would nudge me with my elbow to say NO first , because thats how things are done in India. She stopped now and let me be but still it was really difficult. And I thought heck I am here for 3 weeks and if it makes them happy, I should just suck up and do it their way. Whew long comment, many memories came floating back.
To go along with my reaction-of-the-week – this is so cute it’s hilarious
.
And yeah, you haven’t changed one bit, or maybe you’re back to being the hottie who stood beside NK in the Matheran pic!
I just had to comment on this post even tho’ it’s old-you look as hot then as you do now…believe me you’ll think “why did I ever think I was *fat/overweight* when I looked like THAT!”-this will hit you in your 40′s:)
Nice louwe story too…always great fun to look back on..
You look so awesome in your pics! And what amazing hair, maybe you should grow it out again.
and such few pics…done be a tease..put some more up..or maybe on facebook.
I know, I know exactly what you mean. Nothing quite compares to that new feeling of love, the shyness, coyness, the heart beating…. Those days are way to special aren’t they!! You thought you were fat back then? Really? I did too, and when I see my college pics now, I cannot believe I was such a fool. But I guess its a comparative thing, and right now, I am huge for my age, but when I fifty, this might look just fine to me, hai na!
aisa mat bolo…you are one of the few who is trying…speaks so much for itself!
amazing logic huh? tell him so he doesn’t get kicked out for not being a good traveler
The chai thing is hilarious.
There is this ad on TV these days. An old Indian uncle is trying to put his luggage in the overhead bin and a steward offers to help. Uncle says “No I will manage”. The guys shrugs and says okay and leaves. A desi who is watching gets up and says “let me help u”, Uncles says “No No beta, its okay”. He insists to the point of coming across as crazy, snatches the bag from the uncle and puts it. Uncle and Aunty’s eyes are moist and they shower him with blessings.
The punch line is “Only an Indian knows sometimes a No means yes”.
Its touchingly, hilariously true.
I had a colleague in my last job who in his first month in the US picked up a really old lady’s grocery bag and put it on the counter. All fine and dandy except she was an American. Instead of a blessing and something to the effect of “Indians are just awesome”, he got a very cold “Did I ask for your help”
PS:Gosh!
You can totally tell that someone doesn’t have any friends irl when they go back into flashbacks and dream sequences in someone’s blog!!!!!
Me: your last sentence cracked me up.And that old lady was just cranky that day I assume
OMG…
did ur inlaws continue nudging u till u had ur babies ? or was it just the initial thing of newly married stuff ?
i really appreciate you man !
i know how it was in the 90′s esp late 90′s
but what happened to ur lovely long hair ?