January 2008
Webcam Picture 10/28/09
I was going through my folders on the desktop and came across this horrible picture of myself. I wanted to hit delete as soon as I saw but stopped myself and said it was a good reminder of what how I looked before. I havent been going to the gym as much as I like. I went on Monday this week. I want to go to the 7.30p/m Zumba class today but am too exhausted to drag myself there. I feel so much better after the workout. I know my back is starts to act up if I dont do anything for more than a week. But yet, I am not going to go. Sigh
Anyways, the picture above, shocking huh? I cannot believe I am putting it out. Such an unflattering picture. I have lost 3 lbs since last week. It’s funny, I always turned to food for comfort. when I was hurt or sad or angry, I will look for a plate of Hainese chicken rice or brownies smothered in vanilla ice-cream. But these past 2 weeks, I have completely lost my appetite and have to remind myself to eat. Which is so not me.
My BIO board had a good quote this week. H-Gal, I choose progress.
There are only two choices: make progress or make excuses.”
PS:I am on weepy day today. We saw a dead sparrow in school and I started crying. After I hung up the phone with NK, I started crying. I started crying when Samar spilled his milk. Sigh.. I am turning into a crying weak assed person.
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is it PMS? normally the soul is fragile during this period.
Aaah and the Hainanese Chicken Rice, its the best food for the soul, doubled with the hot steamy soup and the chilli/soya sauce….yummmy.Do get it in the U.S?
Me: So far, all the ones I have tried sucks monkey balls. Even the $2.50 hawker center one is tons better than the USD$10.50 a plate one. I was also missing Old Chang Kee Curry Puff… sigh.
you look 30 years younger!!! ( and not like you are negative years
, just that seeing the pics together the first one looks like an older relative, you look so young and fresh and THIN) so proud and impressed and as always, INSPIRED by you!
Me: But in reality, I think I feel much older now. Too much happened between last Jan and this year which aged me at least 30 years I think.
oh! hang in there, sraikh. sometimes you have dig deep, but you KNOW its in there. And no harm in crying. And no, you are not weak because you cry. Its good catharsis. Hope you get back your appetite soon….
Me: Thanks Kenny.It is good but not when I am crying at every stupid thing. I am going to blame it on PMS.
The difference is amazing !!!! You look so very young now and girl, no crying please, well a little to let it all out but not much of rona ok?
Me: hey did you do the tag?
Hey girl
don’t be so hard on yourself – everybody needs a good cry and you have been through a lot in the last few weeks. It’s ok. Cry, cleanse and get back to action. You kick ass!
Me: thanks Poppins. Hopefully the weekend and some quiet time will calm me down.
Hey I have been following your blog a lot. I should appreciate you for keeping it honest. Very very honest. I hate it when people make judgements about you .. raising a kid ( repeat A KID ) is hard enough and you are raising 4 of them who are now at their most active/naughty peaks. I am raising a toddler and an infant and sometime feel like crying in a corner. With 4 of them you are doing such a beautiful job and one will know ONLY when they go through it. A mother needs to be there for her kids not only physically but emotionally too. It is soo soo hard. And no you are not weak if you break down and cry .
Me: thank you for such a nice comment. I read it last night and started crying again. You pinpointed my feelings exactly.
.I understand exactly why you did it. Why you broke down when Samar spilled his milk, why you cried after speaking to your husband. You are stressed and tired, tired to the bone doing the running around and keeping up with demands in and out and the same thing every single day. A mother cannot afford to take a break.. what kind of break do you take? can you skip cooking? feeding your kids, dropping/picking them up? doing homework with them? bathing/putting them to bed? which ones do you skip? whether you like it or not, you do it right? and what does that make you? it makes you a good mother far far from weak…a lovely wonderful mom who deserves good words and not awful judgements/trolls. Inbetween all this, you took some time out to reduce and lose weight.
Me: Its the constant state of doing that has me in a tizzy. All those things you mentioned, I cannot not do.Samar has to have his 2 baths daily. The kids need to brush twice a day. the house has to be vacummed and not be like a pigsty. Avasha had a oral report due on composer Bizet(shady shady live he led), Ashwina had a report due on some space crap. The boys were running around fighting and kicking. The TV was on since 5 in the afternoon. I didnt know what to make for dinner. Normally NK would come, and he would take over and I would run and hide in the bathroom or go take a quick 30 min walk. It calms me down and I would be ready to face the kids again. Its mentally exhausting to worry about every single thing. And then I feel like a bitch because why should I complain about doing it all when my fil is sick there and NK is worried about him. Stupid vicious cycle. And then I have this thing on myself, that the kids cannot get pinky tardy slips and we should eat the food I always cook and we cannot eat at mcdonalds or order pizza. I have seriously gone insane.
Talking about trolls, I havent had them for a bit now
Only when one raises 4 kids, will they exactly understand what a great deed it is to take care of yourself amisdt the mad days you go through every day. Kudos to you Sraikh. I hope God is on your side and keeps you happy and make your children grow up to me loving, affectionate and most importantly greatful people who take care of their mom at old age and do the exact same running around without a single hurtful word !!
Me: Thanks Neetu and hugs back. Is that your real email? I sent something in an email and it bounces back. Leave me your email in a comment.
huggs lots of it!!! this shall pass
Oh my word…you are so inspiring!Presently,I look like your first pic and am aiming to look like the latter…I have a 25th re-union coming up next August and I hope to get there….thanks for reminding me that it can be done.
I also wanted to ask if you were PMS-ing…my kids recognise it…I’ll be sitting and weeping in front of the TV when they play out some very sad music as someone or the other is eliminated from some reality show or the other….you get the drift,right?
hey keep going…:)
i think its awesome the change!!
as for crying… its good for soul!
dont fret about it! you will be fine soon enough!
hugs!
NO..you are a mother of 4, with a sick child and FIL in hospital, hubby away and hurting… give yourself a break woman!
hug
That’s funny, I’ve been crying a lot lately too. Maybe it’s the weather, plus the stuff going on in our families. *hug*
Me: We both can cry together on Sunday.
Very inspiring!…And cheer up..! all will be well soon..Happy Halloween!
Congratulations on all your weightloss progress. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s OK to release emotions in a good cry sometimes. Hang in there.
Me: Thanks Era.
Inspiring before and after pics! Hope you feel better soon.
Me: Thanks AJ.
Hey, you are not turining into a weak ass anything……
This is just a phase babes..
You let the flood gates open once , the water keeps flowing until it can.
You’ll pass through it quick. Cheer up dearie
Me:The flood gates huh?:) Thanks AKA. You need to post an preggo update soon.
Hey, you’re my superhero. And you’d be waay less of a superhero if you didn’t break down sometimes and let it all out.
Now go air that cape, woman!
And the last picture.. dear God, your cheekbones, your neck. Neighhours envy, owners pride, i tell ya!
Me:
Dude.This is amazing progress.
And hugs too. NK will be back soon and you are a very strong woman. This too shall pass.
nice stories,,,really Inspiring
Did you get my mail with the coupon?:)
Me: I did. Thank you.