I dont know how to deal with this

A week ago, Samar had his blood drawn for his IgE levels test. The last time he took this test was  in 08, Each time he takes this test, I hope that his levels would have gone down and we can do oral challenges in the doc’s office(oral challenge is when you give the child something that he was allergic to in a controlled and timed environment and note whether there are any reactions).

Today results devastated me. Not only his overall IgE went up, most of his individual ones went up(save for milk that went down like 2 pts) But that would have been fine with me. I was mentally prepared for that. But what threw me over the cliff was this. He tested positive for apples, strawberries and corn. His daily diet included applesauces and tamales. I hide the box of strawberries from the other kids so that he would have some for his own meal. And the levels are quite high,not something I can overlook.His peanuts/nuts(hazelnut/macadamia/pistachio) level is something above 100. He has never consumed peanuts so at this point of time we dont know whether he could be  anaphylactic.(My ped has  insisted I carry an Epipen and it always with me) 

I started crying and the doc pulls out the tissue and tells me what we are going to do. He wants me to come up with a list of things Samar eats on a daily basis and we are going to do another blood test. Once we know the results of that blood test, we will go on a 3 week restrictive diet and see what happens.Whether his skin improves dramatically, whether there is no change or something else.At the end of the 3 weeks, we will meet to reassess what to do next.

Logically I know what I will do. But the thing that kills me is applesauce and strawberries are his 2 favourite things in the world. To a child who doesnt get much treats to begin with, how am I going to take this away. And the other thing is, how am I going to justify this to the other kids. I know we wouldnt be able to bring strawberries in the house. I am not going to put Samar through his siblings eating strawberries when he cannot have any. What am I going to feed. He tested negative for chicken and fish.

I called NK from the parking lot of the doc’s office and his statement when he heard my voice is” Did you get into an accident” I screamed no and told him the results. He was shocked too.

I know there are worse things that happen to people  that this in comparison is very minor. Somehow I am not able to move past this. That he cannot eat strawberries,apples and corn.