Maybe writing it will make me feel better

We received a call from India today. At 5 in the morning. When I heard the person saying, I am your neighbour calling..I knew it wasnt going to be anything good. I woke Nk up. His dad passed away 2 hours away. I never shared the details of what happened to NK’s dad. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in January. Underwent surgery and radiation. It was heartbreaking to hear what was happening. He was bedridden and unable to communicate.

I managed to get online and found NK a flight ..He left 3-4 hours ago and I’m left with the kids on the first day of their summer holidays.

I am sitting down, thinking about my fil. He is an amazing man. He is the only one in the household who spoke English to me when I was newly married. I have to recount an incident.. I was a new bride ,watching TV. Mummyji was sitting beside me. It was on some local channel. There was an ad, the guy is applying for leave, his boss doesnt give him, his wife is sad, his dad says something…It was an riveting ad. My mil then gets up and moves away. A word in Hindi flashes. I dont read Hindi. I asked my fil, what was that. he says nashbandhi. I am like whats that? he says vasectomy. My mil is laughing in the kitchen because she knew  I was going to ask the question.I am like oh did  I just ask him that ..oops!

When I went to India with Neil and used to breastfeed, instead of making me go into the room. he would say you sit in the living room and or watch TV or chat with the visitors and he would go away, giving me privacy.

He used to send birthday cards on each of the kids’s birthday, decorating the envelope with stickers. He would send me articles clipped from newspapers and reader’s digest about photography, allergies and raising kids. He would always praise me to the skies, saying I dont know how you handle the 4 kids without any bais and help.

He was a civil engineer and one of his biggest projects was the Bharat_Bhavan. He received a gold medal from Indra Gandhi for his contribution to Bharat Bhawan. He has the most beautiful cursive handwriting. He used to tutor the neighbourhood kids and give them chocolates when they did well on exams.

The kids dont know yet. I told them daddy is going because dadaji is sick.

I know we’ll move on but the heart ache will always be there. We never had a chance to invite him to Americaland. I knew he would have loved the buildings here. He would never see the boys grow up. He was so concerned about Samar’s allergies. Always asking me what can he do to help.

with the girls in India,2005

With Neil