I drive a 01(I think) Odyssey. Its fully paid for. Its our main vehicle and the mileage on it is like 110k. Its been from CA to CO back to CA and now to WA. We literally eat, sleep, and drink in it. At any given time, you can find, wipes, toys, kites, sand toys, change of clothes, 2-3 jackets, various books, crayons, markers, kids music cds, yarn,trash, wrapper, seeds.(right now, its squeaky clean. I vacuumed and scrubbed for 3 hours on Sunday)
Now, the boys sit on the 2 captain seats. Their window is plastered with stickers. From various doc’s visits. This convo happened a while ago.
Mom 1: Did you see the van with all the stickers in the parking lot.
Mom 2: yeah
Me: hey is it a silver one, thats mine!
Mom 2: Wow you are a very indulgent mom to let your kids do that.
Me: Its only a van, its paid off, and I am going to drive it to the bones. The stickers craze will last only a few more years. At the end of the day, the van will be gone but my kids will always remember that I let them plaster the windows.
Mom 1: Hmm I never thought of that.
Me: Now see if I had a Rx3(Mom1 drives that) or an Audi(Mom 2 drives that) maybe I would think twice.
The convo ended there.
Is that called being indulgent? I had posted a picture of the boys plastering their dresser with stickers.It’s a nice dresser that I had picked for less than $20 on CL.
Sigh
When I asked the boys why he did it. Neil’s reply was is it hurting anyone’s feelings? Its in my room(at that point, Samar screamed OUR) right. I let that be as well because he is right. He didnt do anything to my sewing table or the laptop or the dining hutch.
What about you guys? What is the most indulgent thing you did for your child or your spouse?
Good post.
I have let both my kids play with colors be it crayon, paint, water color or markers and they are not restricted to one small area where they can play with that.
I let them carry the milk by themselves when they were young & spill on the carpet and I don’t mind it at all. It is just carpet , we can clean it anytime…
I have known some people who does not allow a single color to enter their house and freaks out even if a single scratch was made on the wall.I can’t do that to the kids,we can always re paint it …
Some people say that my style is not disciplined but I don’t care …
Sujatha
Me: NK banned permanent markers in the house. They are now back though. The kids know to spread newspaper and then paint. In fact, Avasha is painting this very minute.
I dont think you are over-indulgent – at least I dont feel that it can be called overindulgence in this instance. I mean, if 1) the stickers dont block your line of sight while driving, 2) it’s not a show-car (or a show-off car!), and 3) as long as they are not defacing the property of someone else, it doesnt really matter
I like that you are not anal about the stickers.
Me: I was thinking if I did drive a different car, would it affect my decision?
This sticker indulgence is proving to be rather icky
Oh Kind One – please shed some light on how to get stickers out of car windows – have reached such a point that I can no longer check for the blind spot on the right side due to Thomas stickers abducting every bit of glass – even industrial strength cleaners don’t seem to work
Me: get something called Goo Be Gone. Its best for getting sticky residue off. Mine is on the sliding doors window which dont even roll down so it doesnt affect my driving
Letting him spread all his stuff around the house…like his thousands of books that are lying around the couch AT ALL TIMES! Oh and he also installed an UGLY looking server in the living room, and I let him do it
I don’t think u are an indulgent mom. Kids are supposed to do all that, and MORE!
Mine write and draw on walls and even though it is washable paint, I refuse to. I love those spots in my home where my son wrote this name or drew us or something silly. These are my memories, my home and their memories too.
No. I think you are a laid back mom. Besides, like you said, it’s an old van. I am the same with our sofa. We bought it from Ikea and purposely bought one that had a removable machine washable slipcover. My friends are like “I never let my kids touch the sofa because they’ll ruin it” but I grew up jumping on and off our sofas and building forts from the cushions. I’ve washed the slipcovers soo many times now, and there are stains that won’t come out. When we have guests, we just turn the cushions around. When the boys are older, we’ll get a nice sofa. =)
Me: I dont know, to each his parenting style. Someone I know said, I should teach them boundaries and expect them to respect my belongings.
But I think you do teach them boundaries – for example Neil seems to understand that it was OK for him to put stickers on his dresser because it was his. He’s not doing it anywhere else in the house, right? And he’s always very polite about asking to play Wii at our house. =)
I indulge them in other things. Though I think your reasons for letting them do what they want are definitely valid.
Unfortunately nothing I have here is picked up cheaply (no thrift stores around), either that or it’s not ours (e.g. our cars are both company cars, the house is rented…). In any case my Hub is French and they are only indulgent with themselves by definition (e.g. drink, eat and be merry), not with the children.
We get sand in the car and he would nag me for days. It’s understandable as sometimes he would borrow my (bigger) car and drive his colleagues to another city for business.
But the house is a mess, I have toys everywhere. I buy them sticker books to stick stickers on.
Me: Did you see the V&B cups? I thought of you as I bought them!
I couldn’t miss them…you definitely have more B&V than I do and to rub it in, you got them for almost nothing!
I hate thrift stores LOL
um….I’ll let you know in a few years. Kid #1 who is 14yrs. old – was an angel….never did anything crazy to our belongings. Until, she spilled Jamba Juice in our less than 2 week old mini-van, spilled nail polish on our cream colored carpets…all at an age where she should “know better”.
Me: Aye, its so much harder when they are at an age when they should know better.
However, now we have a 16 month old….and well, she challenges me EVERY DAY! She can tear apart her toy box and leave crap scattered all over the place…..we’ll see what she gets away with!!! lol
The sticker thing….none of my cars are paid off yet (Odyssey, BMW, Mercedez) and my husband would FREAK! hahaha The eating and drinking rule only applies in the Van……no if’s and’s or but’s! (gosh I’m an “under indulgent” kinda mom huh)
Me:
You are fun mummy like mine was..My Mom let us paint on the wall of the rented apartment since they would anyway re-paint the apartment once in 3 years;)..and We stayed in the same Rented place for 18 years!
As long as you are indulging your kids with your own stuff,why should anyone else’s opinion matter? We’ve had kids come home and mis-treat our stuff,the parents just pretend that its not their problem,that’s rude!
Me: See that is something I dont tolerate. And if somethings that is allowed in our house, doesnt mean that you are allowed to do at someone else’s places, for eg jumping on beds(I dont allow it on mine but their bed is fine) or jumping on couch.
My kids are allowed to play in the hall/living room…there’s no other place anyway! I dunno if other homes do this, because their living rooms always look so pristine. Walk into my home without giving me a warning, and you will find their books, toys, hankies, napkins and towels always lying about untidily. I don’t have it in me to be nagging them to always clean up coz I want them to be relaxed and play.
I guess, like you said, difft strokes for difft folks! We all do have our limits on what possessions/spaces the kids have how much ‘freedom’ with.
Each one has their own style …. just as Starry has pointed, the kids play anywhere … anytime. I do ask the older one to clean up which she does occasionally … but you are most likely to find our house with toys everywhere. Oh … they are jump on bed.(though I don’t like it much …
)
But then, I also expect my kids to check their limits when we visit other people’s houses. For eg: It might be acceptable for my kids to jump on our bed, but its NOT ok for them to jump on bed in other people’s houses. Also, I wouldn’t like other kids jumping on our bed either:)
I commute 3 hours a day so that the spouse can walk to work. No, no its not as angelic as it sounds either.
Love your parenting style. Happy chilldhood is v precious
Hey there,welcome back!:)I think,I was away,actually…
Loved this post…made me feel quite sad as my husband is one of those people who wants everything spic n span(anally so)…so the kids were NEVER allowed to scribble on walls/stick stuff on anything etc…my son got a pair of scissors to the couch cover when he was 4:p and J ranted and raved…my parents on the other hand indulged them …there’s a wall in their house which is meant for all the grandkids to scribble on and it is kept as it is for all guests to admire:).They are very aware of respecting other peoples property but I still feel sad that I wasn’t able to indulge them the way you do yours
Me: hey were you on vacay? I think my dh gave up hope on me. Spic n span with 4 kids…impossible. Although after cleaning my van for 3 hours, I am now making sure every piece of litter is taken out when the kids come out.
Heya…sort of,whatwith the soccer WC on my doorstep,it was one big party..did a world of good..lots of eye candy:),stunning weather and venues and general feelings of goodwill..we’re
all in withdrawal at the moment… gearing up to go to India to my med school re-union..have managed to lose quite a bit-thanks for your inspiration- and feeling ready to take on whatever comes!
I know,I just got a new” vahanam” and I make sure the kids pick up any litter that they bring in …
Your kids will remember this even after they grow up!! My Mom let us put stickers on our cupboard and we have a Godrej cupboard full of stickers which me and my sister plastered on. The inside is covered with Salman Khan and Tendulkar and Jadeja posters – even though it no longer contains our stuff, its fond memories for my parents. I also remember me and my friends having a ball drawing and painting on our walls just before we had the house repainted! Sweet memories of childhood….
Me: Aww thats nice that your parents have that cupboard. Me I am trashing or donating that dresser..rofl!
I used to take a very hard line on stuff like this but then I realised it’s better to specify zones that it is ok to decorate. After all, it is his space too. But, of course, give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. You should see what he has done with his door. This has inspired me to post on it
Do not say it is “just an Odyssey.” My ’96 Odyssey has over 230,000 miles on it and is my lifeline! I move furniture and dogs, I sleep in it when we are camping and the winds knock down the tent… Odyssey’s deserve love too.
Me: I know. I love the fold down back row. The only “bad” thing about an odyssey is that one cannt pretend to be childless when said children are not present with you. The minivan is a dead give away.
When I was a kid I would tape things to the wall because I grew up in (& then for some dumb reason got involved with a guy with the same ideas) a home where no holes are permitted in the walls. If permission was granted, be prepared to see the same thing in the same spot for the next 25 years or more. Well, to this day I am known as the ONE who puts tape on walls and doors.
Do not do this to your child. Nothing was irreparably harmed except my feelings.
Me:
So I shoulde let them put the stickers up in the car or no?
I have a white set of drawers with stickers all over it! They are drying out now and falling off. The kid is 26, and has his own apartment. Not sure I can get rid of that. but we are remodeling the house to what we want. Once the kid is out, it’s nice to redecorate! No more sticky finger prints from him….now it’s the spouse’s sticky finger prints!
My daughter did the same exact thing in my scion’s window when she gets stickers from library/ doctor visits. I might have let her do it if I had a prius too. I dont even try to peel it off. Whenever I lock/unlock the car in my workplace, it always makes me smile and feel happy. But she never did this in dad’s car!
She knows not to scribble on the walls, but she wrote her name heart symbol Mom in the powder room! I cannot bring myself to paint over it. But it is there for all to see.
So let them put stickers in the car, write on walls, hang up posters. Maybe I am over indulgent!