Asaaan Rotating Header Image

Am I an indulgent mom?

I drive a 01(I think) Odyssey. Its  fully paid for. Its our main vehicle and the mileage on it is like 110k. Its been from CA to CO back to CA and now to WA. We literally eat, sleep, and drink in it. At any given time, you can find, wipes, toys, kites, sand toys, change of clothes, 2-3 jackets, various books, crayons, markers, kids music cds, yarn,trash, wrapper, seeds.(right now, its squeaky clean. I vacuumed and scrubbed for 3 hours on Sunday)

Now, the boys sit on the 2 captain seats. Their window is plastered with stickers. From various doc’s visits. This convo happened a while ago.

Mom 1: Did you see the van with all the stickers in the parking lot.

Mom 2: yeah

Me: hey is it a silver one, thats mine!

Mom 2: Wow you are a very indulgent mom to let your kids do that.

Me: Its only a van, its paid off, and I am going to drive it to the bones. The stickers craze will last only a few more years. At the end of the day, the van will be gone but my kids will always remember that I let them plaster the windows.

Mom 1: Hmm I never thought of that.

Me: Now see if I had a Rx3(Mom1 drives that) or an Audi(Mom 2 drives that) maybe I would think twice.

The convo ended there.

Is that called being indulgent? I had posted a picture of the boys plastering their dresser with stickers.It’s a nice dresser that I had picked for less than $20 on CL.

Sigh

When I asked the boys why he did it. Neil’s reply was is it hurting anyone’s feelings? Its in my room(at that point, Samar screamed OUR) right. I let that be as well because he is right. He didnt do anything to my sewing table or the laptop or the dining hutch.

What about you guys? What is the most indulgent thing you did for your child or your spouse?

Here I am! Monday MoneySavers

The love feels nice. The asking when I am coming back. Whether anything is seriously wrong or am I just having my period being bitchy.

The drive to WA was fantastic. I actually drove straight through and reached the island at 1 a/m. Thats 850 miles, about 15 hours of driving with lunch/dinner and potty breaks. The longest stretch of driving I did was from 830p/m to 1. The kids were all sleeping and the road’s dark. Kinda of scary but I survived. the fastest I did was 95mph. The van started rattling then and I eased off the gas pedal and turned on the cruise control at a easy 75mph.

Meeting my niece was the best. Can I just say she is very smart. Hop over to  Sonia’sblog to read about our visit.  We stayed a week. Yes I could have stayed longer but the kids were antsy to get home. I didnt want NK to have too much fun without us and so I packed the kids, loaded the car and did the drive back home. Again reached at midnight, exhausted. The way the kids reacted on seeing their beds and toys and TV(Sonia has no TV in her house), one would think they were away for months.

I dragged Sonia out to a GW near her house. She bought some books and some cutesy glass stuff. Guess what I found. My 2nd piece of Villeroy and Boch.

New Wave Coffee Cups

Macy’s has them for $26,99. Amazon has them for $16.99. These 3 had a Macy’s return sticker and looks brand new. I paid 99 cents each. My niece kept calling them the silly cup.

We are almost 1/2 way through the summer holidays. Neil has Science camp next week and the girls are doing GS camp in 2 weeks. While I love the carefree summer days, I think I will be that much happier once school starts.

I should go to bed, its past midnight and the house is so quiet. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you guys, about the barn sale I went to and how adults were fighting over a dining table. Where I scored Griswold skillets.

Updates and What not

NK got back Wed evening and has slept at least 50 hours. I think its better to have a spouse who is out of the country than to have one who is jetlagged(all those who speak up in favor of him being tired and all would be banned from the blog henceforth)

The diet is still going strong. I ate home made pizza last night and felt like this horrible cheater.I am still not working out but somehow the diet makes me feel skinner.

Big news. The kids and I are going on a road trip to visit my sis who is on an island 850 miles away from us. We are loading up the minivan, packing swimsuits and heading up. I am kinda nervous about the whole thing. NK was suppose to go take time off and go with us but he has almost no vacation left or he had a something on at work. I am going to do the drive in 2 days, staying overnight at some motel. I am thinking whats the worst that can go wrong? A flat tyre?  I just serviced the van so it shouldnt break down.

Ebay has been good to me. I am happy. I sold 2 things on CL and have a bit of cash. The sun is shinning. I am going to see my sister and niece after 2.5 years. The kids will run crazy. What more can I ask for?

Watch for updates on the drive. I will do short posts

Monday MoneySavers

This is an old one. I normally dont buy electronics from thrift stores because you dont know the condition. Almost all stores have a no exchange policy with their electronic stuff.

I saw this at Savers.

Euroflex Monster Steam Cleaner

 I brought out the G1 and googled the brand. A UK company .Went to amazon and read this review. I plugged her in. The light went on but how did I know it will heat up enough to work. It was $12.99 which is above my thrifting point. I went to the housewares dept, got a pitcher, went into the bathroom, got water and poured it in and waited for the thing to heat up.(I went on a Thurs morning and asked permission before I did all this, the manager said, sure clean my floors while testing it! )

MONSTER!

It gave a puff of hot steam. The other customers, came around to see what I was doing(notice I always attract a crowd). I pushed the button on top of the handle and there was puff of hot hot steam. The filthy floors looked awesome.It heated up and worked beautifully on the store’s tiles floors.

I bought it thinking I would resell it. It came with the carpet glider and 2 in decent shape  extra floor pads. I brought it home and of course tested it on my filthy kitchen floors. It worked like  a dream.

NK came home and I showed it to him. He loved it and forbid me to resell…

The funny thing is, I saw a 2nd one the last time I was at Savers. Only this one didnt work !

Linking to ATG‘s and Southern Hospitality‘s Thrifty parties!

Day 2 of Samar’s Diet

Yesterday I went to Sujatha’shouse and had thosai..which is something Samar cannot have but I did. I couldnt resist the crispy paper thin thosai.

Today we were invited to a neighbour’s party and I lied to her,saying that my mil told me to fast because it was one week since the news of my fil and so I couldnt eat her food. Naughty sraikh! I didnt even look at the cake. I made pork and had that with broccoli. The older kids just pulled pork with bread. Avasha is demanding for rice. Its so so hard, I wanted to make eggs and toast in the morning and I resisted.

I wanted Parle G biscuits with my afternoon chai but again I said no. I cannot imagine my poor child facing his siblings who eat everything and yet he doesnt complain.  Imagine if I did this for 2 weeks a month a whole year, how much weight I would lose. Just cutting out wheat ensures one cannot eat so many evil but oh so yummy stuff.

Breakfast–the older kids wanted pancake…I dont know what to make for Samar’s breakfast.

Lunch, I plan to make fish curry for lunch and rice for the older kids.

Dinner…??

Sigh! Its close to 1 a/m and I should be going to bed.

Daily Outfit 6/18

 After a long time eh? I look fat..look at my triple chin…eeek!

Sigh

 Maxi Dress: Ross or something..I was trying to look for an earlier daily outfit where I wore this and couldnt find it.

Cardigan: An really old cardigan which I love

Chappal:Marshalls

Long silver necklace from the estate sale haul.

No make up! No combing of hair…Its the real me!!

Mere Aansu sukh gaye*

I had Samar’s appt today. to follow up on the 2nd blood test we did on the stuff he has been eating, stuff like arrowroot,rice, potatoes, sweet potato, tapioca flour,turkey, pork, beef. NK was suppose to go with me to this appt. The kids are on summer vacation and I didnt want to drag all 4. A neighbour kindly offered to keep the older 3. When I dropped them off, Samar started screaming that he wanted to go to the playdate. He kept screaming throughout the drive, “let me out stupid car seat Let me out stupid car seat”

He wouldnt come out of the van and went in the back row and sat there for 6 mins. Finally he needed to pee and so we rushed to the doctor’s office. There, he kept screaming his head and wouldnt come out of the bathroom. I was going to start bawling myself, even before seeing the doctor. Luckily, a nurse came and got him and offered him a movie.

Watching Max and Ruby

These past few days, his skin has been horrible. He has open sores on the corner of his mouth, under both eyes, the back of his knees, his arm joints. No matter how much antibiotic cream or lotion I douse him in, his skin is dry as the Sahara? He has been up at night, screaming it itches!

He hasn’t eaten any strawberries, corn(well unless the corn syrup that one find in almost everything) or applesauce. and yet his skin was so so bad.. The pollen count in my city was extremely high as well, so that could have been a factor.

Anyways, the doctor asked me, Am I going to cry again ? I said I will try not to. So he tested positive for rice, a 13.20..the rest of the things were negative. I said, what is he going to eat then? What am I going to feed him now? he has rice and rice pancakes almost everyday.

So the doctor gives me a list

  1. potato
  2. Honey
  3. pork
  4. Beef
  5. Turkey
  6. Tapioca
  7. Fish
  8. Clams
  9. Buckwheat-I googled and this is kuttu atta. I never even knew it
  10. Maple Syrup
  11. Berries except strawberries
  12. Oranges
  13. Applesauce but not apples
  14. Grapes and raisin
  15. Olive Oil
  16. Saffola Oil
  17. Canola Oil
  18. Spinach
  19. Broccoli
  20. Cabbage
  21. Cauliflower
  22. Squash
  23. Pumpkin
  24. his Special Neocate formula
  25. FORGOT TO ADD CHICKEN

And a daily multivitamin.he also wants me to implement a daily bleach bath. He said its been very successful with 2-3 of his patients whose skin is as bad as Samar’s. The reader that told me about Mimys ,He gave me another lotion similar to that. A prednisolone and an antibiotic to help his skin for now.

We do this diet for 2 weeks,along with his bleach baths. I go back and evaluate with him and we re-introduce one food at one time. Any food that got a value of less than 20 on the blood test(corn, apple,rice,strawberries to name a few )

I have decided that I need to go on this diet with him. I told the dr that and he said he highly recommended it because it will be easier for me than to figure out to what to feed him. My only exception would be milk(for my morning and evening chai). Am I insane? Maybe! Will I be able to do it? Maybe I would lose a bunch of weight and label this diet the Samar Diet and become rich?

The sad thing is I dont know how the other kids would feel about us restricting so many things.. I havent bought strawberries since 3 weeks. If he was an only child, my life would be much easier…but to balance the needs(wants) of the older 3 with his is tough. They already accuse me of favouring Samar more because I dont  allow things he cannot eat in the house. Ice-cream,cookies, kettle corn amongst many more.

Sigh, lately all I seem to be doing is crying and whining.I keep telling myself, other parents have it worse than just not seeing their child eat strawberries. To suck it up and not be so dramatic about it and yet, even now I have tears in my eyes while composing this post. Me, the heartless bitch who would never cried. I NEVER CRIED>.Everyone in my household would be crying and I would be the strong one and now the slightest thing makes me cry.

*My tears have dried up.

A newbie attempts at Ebay Selling

I have been reading My Dear Trash for a while now. On a whim, I decided to buy plus size clothing and put them up on ebay. I bought all of them at Savers from the 50% off sale. I researched brands and sizes, some I bought on a hunch,some  based on what I read on that blog.

I already had a ebay a/c + paypal a/c linked to it. The hard part was writing a descripition. Whats the tie thing on a maternity blouse called? Measuring the outfit, typing out laundry instructions. And then figuring out shipping.  It took me a while but I figured it out.

I listed 14 things and 7 sold. In 10 days! I didnt make much of a profit on most things, since I dont have dollar days in my local thrift store. Click to see my completed listings. Most of the clothes cost less than $3.99. That was my cut off point for thrifting. The first 3 clothing item sold, I bought for  $1.99.

I know my local GW is having a $2 sale on the weekend of June 25-26th. NK would be back by then and I am hoping to load up and list more things then.

I am enjoying doing this and seeing my paypal balance add up.  I might save all that money for a trip in Dec. I was thinking I could fly back to Singapore/India without the kids and its NK’s turn to hold the fort. Of course, it might not come to fruition but one has to dream and plans. If not, aise jeene bhi kya jeene yaara

PS: Notice NK’s absence means more blogging time. You know I love him and miss him and all that but the house is so peaceful when he is gone. The kids are in bed and I can read or blog or talk to my sister or just plain hide and not worry about ignoring him and hurting his feelings. Spending all day talking to the kids and running around, sometimes at night, all I want to do is just curl up and be left alone and he wants to talk.

PS:Dear if you reading this, then I take the above back.

Thanks All.

Your comment’s and emails were sweet. Its kinda hard being so far away. I cannot really fathom that he is gone. I cannot believe the next time we’ll visit India, he wouldnt be at the airport with the Tata Sumo waiting for us with a huge smile and candy for the kids. I cannot believe that he wouldnt be sitting on the sofa,with his glasses and his kurta, fighting with me over the English newspapers.

I have to recount another incident. When we visited in 05, I flew from Singapore to  Delhi with the older 3. Neil was a few months old. He came to Delhi and then we all took the train home. I think we were in AC 2 or something. We had all settled down after dinner, I took the lower berth with Neil, the girls shared one and he was in the upper one. I told him right before he was closing the curtain thing, “Papaji app curtain mat band karne and if I call you, will you wake up and come down” I gave him more instuctions. So the next morning, the other passengers were asking him about me, saying appki beti(your daughter) to him. And he laughs and says woh meri bahu hai. The passenger was surprised that a bahu was talking to her fil like that.He never treated me like a bahu. He let me do/wear whatever I wanted while there.

NK reached his home safe and sound. The cremation was done today. They have alot more rituals to be done. I am sad that I couldnt be a part of them. I dont know what role a bahu plays in such rituals..I know as the only son, NK has to do a lot..

The kids know that dada is now gone. I told them he is now with Sheriff(my in law’s pomeranian who died a few months ago). Samar was asking last night if I go to sleep, will I die too? I told him no. Its their first week of vacation and all they have done since morning is watch TV. I dont have the energy to make the effort to do something fun.

ETA: I wanted to warn my US-India readers about this us.makemytrip.com site. I used them to book flight tickets from SFO to Del and then domestic flight from Del to Bho. The agent I spoke/chatted with was super helpful, giving me confirmed tickets on all sectors of the journey. BUT I got a call from my credit company saying did I authorize a charge for USD$3700. I was like wtf? I was told it would be $2400 for the international portion and $400 for the domestic flight. I emailed and called that site and they REFUSE to send me a detailed invoice with a breakdown in charges. I spoke to someone else today and he promised me that they are going to place a call traceback on my booking and if the agent was wrong, they would refund my money. I googled this company and apparently they are well known for overcharging and not refunding. I will keep you guys updated.

PS: I have Samar’s follow up appt on Friday. NK was suppose to go with me but now I have to go alone. Am hoping I do not have another hysterical breakdown in his office. Think good thoughts. Monday moneysavers would be back next week maybe?

Maybe writing it will make me feel better

We received a call from India today. At 5 in the morning. When I heard the person saying, I am your neighbour calling..I knew it wasnt going to be anything good. I woke Nk up. His dad passed away 2 hours away. I never shared the details of what happened to NK’s dad. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in January. Underwent surgery and radiation. It was heartbreaking to hear what was happening. He was bedridden and unable to communicate.

I managed to get online and found NK a flight ..He left 3-4 hours ago and I’m left with the kids on the first day of their summer holidays.

I am sitting down, thinking about my fil. He is an amazing man. He is the only one in the household who spoke English to me when I was newly married. I have to recount an incident.. I was a new bride ,watching TV. Mummyji was sitting beside me. It was on some local channel. There was an ad, the guy is applying for leave, his boss doesnt give him, his wife is sad, his dad says something…It was an riveting ad. My mil then gets up and moves away. A word in Hindi flashes. I dont read Hindi. I asked my fil, what was that. he says nashbandhi. I am like whats that? he says vasectomy. My mil is laughing in the kitchen because she knew  I was going to ask the question.I am like oh did  I just ask him that ..oops!

When I went to India with Neil and used to breastfeed, instead of making me go into the room. he would say you sit in the living room and or watch TV or chat with the visitors and he would go away, giving me privacy.

He used to send birthday cards on each of the kids’s birthday, decorating the envelope with stickers. He would send me articles clipped from newspapers and reader’s digest about photography, allergies and raising kids. He would always praise me to the skies, saying I dont know how you handle the 4 kids without any bais and help.

He was a civil engineer and one of his biggest projects was the Bharat_Bhavan. He received a gold medal from Indra Gandhi for his contribution to Bharat Bhawan. He has the most beautiful cursive handwriting. He used to tutor the neighbourhood kids and give them chocolates when they did well on exams.

The kids dont know yet. I told them daddy is going because dadaji is sick.

I know we’ll move on but the heart ache will always be there. We never had a chance to invite him to Americaland. I knew he would have loved the buildings here. He would never see the boys grow up. He was so concerned about Samar’s allergies. Always asking me what can he do to help.

with the girls in India,2005

 

With Neil

168991 pages viewed, 1017 today
64615 visits, 238 today
FireStats icon Powered by FireStats